Four days Post Op

Again I can't sleep. It's after 3am - Friday. I have a rash on my arms, back and chest. I suspect it's the one oxycodone that I took yesterday. I just took some benadryl to see if that helps out. I haven't had to take pain killers much - maybe some ibuprofen once a day for the irritation. What a welcome surprise! I almost feel guilty for staying home from work.

The red rash isn't the only color I'm sporting. My surgified breast is now yellow, too. (Not to mistake it for the amazing shade of orange on my left arm with which the surgical unit dosed me. It kinda looked like a tan-in-the-bottle-gone-wrong until I finally got a shower this morning.)

I have three incisions on my left side. A 2" one under my arm pit where Dr. Droesch checked the sentinel nodes. A 1.25" incision around my nipple where he took out the tumor and a small incision on the breast where he did the original biopsy. All of these are sealed shut - with GLUE. No stitches visible anywhere. He said that the smaller incision is to remove the area where he had done the biopsy (aka Rosie-the-Riveter taking 4 core samples of the lump on the first day he examined me.) Cancer cells like to show up right around the area where the original cancer was removed, hence his reasoning for taking out the tissue where he'd done the biopsy.

I have to admit that I'm afraid of the chemotherapy. Everything I've read makes it sound so straight forward. But a thought lurks in the back of my thoughts: what if the medications turn me into the Hulk? Or a green insect? Will I sprout horns? Will it make me as sick as I've imagined?

I started taking the herbal tea "essiac" that Sister Mansius brought over to me last week. It doesn't taste like much, which is good since I'm supposed to drink it 3 times per day. My Aunt Darlene called me tonight (apologizing profusely for 'bothering' me!) She told me about the Magnet Treatment and agreed that the herbal "Essiac" tea was something that Uncle Evan used. Mom and I read up on the literature that Sister Mansius left. Interesting. Lots of ways to pursue treatment of this cancer. My plan is to attack it with everything available -prayers, chemo, prayers, radiation, prayers, essiac tea, vitamins, prayers - whatever can help and is reasonable.

In the meantime, I've been enjoying immensely the meals brought over. Liz Castro made the best chicken soup with noodles! And Mom and Dad Harward have been working over my garden out front. Dad dug up a giant rock - about 18" long. They put it on display in the flower beds. Mom planted petunias and allysum and finished planting my window boxes with gorgeous flowers!! We sat out in lawn chairs today in the shade of our weeping birch trees chatting in the perfect weather- looking over the beautiful new garden. It was so nice. I am healing nicely.