Summer Breeze

TA DA! Dad figured this out: the missing letters spell - COURSE. As in Course of 4 lectures......


Can you read the cut-up phrase? This poster is from the 1850's in Rugby, England. The Ebenezer Chapel was being re-opened. My ancestor was the bishop of this church. He was the last speaker announced on this broadsheet! The problem is, some pieces were cut from the poster and it makes one of the words unreadable! Take a close look - there is a phrase - "_ours_ of four lectures..." The word "series" would fit in nicely... I wonder if it being British, there is an extra "u" in the word? Does anyone have a cross-word puzzle dictionary?

We had a lot of wind this past weekend. It blew some branches down off of trees - on the way to church Max saw a branch had crushed a car in the street. Whew! Needless to say, I didn't go to water workout. The dust in the air makes my allergies go crazy! I've been taking some antibiotic and finally got this sinus condition normalized... want to keep it that way.

I've got the cleaning cycle going on my oven. It's setting off the smoke alarm (at least I know it works!)

This week is nice - Our graduate is working almost full-time hours at a gas station; there's one of ours at Girl's Camp and Youngest is going to Partners and Pals - a day camp for developmentally disabled kidlets. He loves it. I love it! Our National Guardsman is leaving on Friday for a month....

This summer is nice because I am healthier! Yea! I had me a big cry last night when I recalled losing all my hair a year ago. A lot of things have been affecting me that way. Last summer, I was REALLY buoyed up by everyone's prayers because I hardly seemed to notice what was going on. But now when I think back on it, I get all teary-eyed.

This summer is nice because I have a vegetable garden - cucumbers and zucchini and strawberries. All producing nicely (want a couple zucchini??) Two of my blueberries are doing wonderfully well!! My new raspberries are taking off - I like the thornless variety! My house is in much better condition now that I'm able to take charge again. Still have the kids helping out, but being able to mop up spills and clean out the fridge and cupboards is great.

I'm getting rested and working on family history. I've just finished transcribing the 50+ pages of text of my gr gr grandpa's probated estate. Funny to read which relatives expected to be paid for their caring for Gr Gr Grandpa on his death bed and which ones protested every little detail. Makes me want to get my own will up-to-date!!!

I stopped at the travel agency last week and got some brochures on traveling to England - next year I want to go and take my parents.

Hairs are still growin'

My head of hair is getting incrementally longer! Over the past few weeks, the hair that we shaved off a year ago has finally, finally, finally made some little niggly efforts at growing back. (To date, the only hair I have is what fell out a year ago. The shaved hair refused to come back in!)

I've been going to a physical therapist for my lymphedema. It's much better. My next cancer appointments are in August.

Drs.

Just got back from seeing a "temporary" doctor at the Cancer Center. He checked out where I've had two attacks of cellulitis in the past 6 weeks. It's been on the side where they removed cancer. He looked at my past blood tests and said that my immune system is still low and will be for a year after treatment, that adding to it is the removal of lymph nodes and the radiation of that site that knocked out the rest of the lymph system on that side. Result: Frequent infections that will be triggered by any cut or scrape or overuse of my left arm. He suggested, just as Dr. I did, that I keep a backup antibiotic on hand for when it flares up. Sigh. Just palpating that area has made it sore again. Ibuprofen is once again my best friend.

In looking back over my "hair" photos, I have to concede that it has gotten a pinch longer. What I have is wavy and very, very baby soft! (I'd still love some bang extensions! otherwise, it's very easy to care for. I guess God planned it this way on purpose :) )

It's sunny outside!

I'm so glad that it's sunny - and warm - outside. I have started a bit of a garden in our back yard. We fenced it off from the doggies. I put in blueberries and strawberries and a few seeds - zucchini and cucumbers. No. I am not going to share those with you. You will have to find your own neighbor with zucchini-itis. I am actually planning to eat every last one of them. Same with the cucumbers. I've been buying them all winter/spring, just dreaming of the day when I could have my OWN.

I will take the usual precautions... wearing gloves since I have lymphodema; and keeping neosporin in my purse for the same reason.

I've enjoyed immensely my time at the physical therapists. I started May 1st seeing Sara Nelson at Therapy Solutions. Each Monday and Friday I get a massage and training on how to care for my skin, lymph tissues, and even get some free counseling in as well. Her last question is helping me the most - "What if everything is already great?" Her pointed questions are helping tremendously!

I will be starting some medical leave of absence from work - hopefully this week. I need some more rest from this whole cancer treatment thing.

Is that a wave coming on?

I've been going without a hat to work for a week or so now. Since it's warmer, I don't mind so much.

The first day back to work after Spring Break, one of the life skills kids said, "Oh, you've cut your hair." "Nope," I said, "it's actually growing back in." The next day when this same student saw me, she said,
"Mrs. Rickords. Your hair!
Um.
It's getting longer."
Ha! She's cute.

Actually, various people have commented that my hair is getting CURLY. I have to concede that there is a wave or two starting to form.

Heather came over from Bellingham to visit. She's only been gone two months, but it seemed like an eternity. We were so glad she came. And brought her kitty. And left her kitty with us. Our home teachers came by and asked us who was sitting with us. "She was real pretty." they said. We had quite a laugh when they heard it was Heather and not one of Stephen's girlfriends. We got a photo, too, since we were all together:

Good news!

I had an appointment with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) last week. It had been postponed because I hadn't had my mammogram yet. I finally got it and they said it was as normal as could be expected considering what I'd been through. Interpretation: Great! Dr. Rege gave me a clean bill of health, too! Yea! See her next year! Dr. Chenal (chemo dr.) is next - I'm supposed to see him in a few weeks.

Dr. Rege said that the infection I got a week ago was a common occurence for folks like me (who also have rosacea - bright red checks) and who go through radiation. She said the peeling hands (again!) are a side effect of the chemo. Oh, and she said that I had a mammogram instead of ultrasound because ultrasounds are for those who "feel a lump." Everyone else gets mammograms........

More attention please!

Sorry. I just wasn't getting enough attention lately. Had to come up with something new and interesting..... I got an ear infection and staff infection over the weekend. The infection covers my left chest and my left arm. Went to the Kania Clinic last night and Dr. Kania put me on two different antibiotics. I can't work until this clears up. So, I stayed home and tidied the house and mended a dozen things.

Some good news, though: I wrote two essays for my history class and have found a historical book for my third essay.

Still Shy...

I can't seem to get used to going around without a hat. I leave it on whenever I'm in public. I feel absolutely "naked" without it or a wig on my head. I got brave and went to the temple Tuesday night with just my baby hairs. I was teary-eyed and felt vulnerable. Did the other people understand why I look so odd? I wonder if they think I styled my hair this way on purpose??? I'm glad Lorna was there to comfort me.

My baby-fine hairs

Here is me as of today. I thought for sure I'd have a head of hair by Christmas. Then I knew it would be grown out by my birthday.... That's long gone and well, it's still thin, baby fine and... wispy and... not a single curl in sight!


Here I got it wet and tried to spike it. Not much success - it's just too wimpy...

I have to retract a statement from my last blog. My mom remembers Dr. Droesch telling us that the reason he didn't take out ALL the lymph nodes that might have some cancer is BECAUSE he didn't want me to get lymphedema. (Which I got anyway since I had radiation.....) So, I guess I was informed about the possibilities of lymphedema. A gal in the school's cafeteria told me that her lymphedema (she wears a compression sleeve 24/7) was the worst the physical therapist had ever seen. She learned some exercises (raise your arms above your head and cross them back and forth. Also, doing wall push ups.) She had a way of tracing her fingers up her fingers, up her arm and across her chest that she said helps bring the lymph fluids up and trains the other lymph nodes to take up the fluid from that side. She also told me that she started Tranquil Waters a place for women who need help with cancers. She also raises money to make it possible for women to get mammograms who can't afford it!)

I have a Dr. appointment with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) this Thursday for a check up. I'm sure I'll be just fine!

Lymphedema

Went to my family doctor Monday - I have the beginnings of lymphedema in my left arm. Feels like I'm wearing a blood pressure cuff all the time - you know that painful feeling when they check your blood pressure??? I have an appointment with a physical therapist who specializes in this type of situation.... appointment is May 1st.

In the meantime, I can take ibuprofen for it. There is nothing else besides raising the arm above heart level that will help it. I'm supposed to avoid hot tubs, etc, lifting things, having my blood pressure or blood work done on that arm. Apparently it occurs in 25% of breast cancer patients - especially where they took many lymph nodes (not me - they only took 3) or who have had radiation in the axilla (arm pit.) This is what I did. Apparently, shriveling up those lymph nodes can cause your arm to get sore and then start swelling.

I didn't find out all this from my doctors. (They're all pointing their fingers away from themselves.) I heard from Teresa at work who's been through breast cancer treatments - who heard about it from reading articles. I've read some great literature on the internet, but "funny" the doctors didn't bother to tell me to watch for this.

This week

Got to sleep in today - YEA!!! (Stayed up late last night reading my new favorite book: Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.) I worked in the garage for several hours with Taija as my super-hero helper. She put some of Heather's boxes up in the garage rafters... We took a carload of stuff to St. Vinnies.... Stopped at McDonalds for lunch... Worked on my history 400 class - I'm having to reread all the texts that I read last year because I can't remember anything from BC (Before Cancer).

Went without my hat today... In front of Taija's friends... she had her friends over to play "murder" in the dark. Kyle is on the computer watching cartoon network "at www.com" (That's his interpretation of it, anyway.) We're relegated to my room with the door closed - so we don't shed any light on their party.

The City coffers are going to be filled to overflowing with contributions from our kids last week. Jacob got a ticket - as well as everyone else in the car - for riding without enough seat belts and being driven by a friend without his six months of "family only" probation up yet..... There's $120.

His big brother got a ticket for being too "noisy" - his car has no muffler ($225.) Add that to the speeding ticket he got two weeks ago ($150) and the one for the accident in November..... (reduced to $100.) Step right up - the city should be handing out cash to all citizens soon!

We've filled up the extra room (Heather's while she was here) with Max's fishing gear and my genealogy. What a combination. We're "fishing for some dead relatives???" I've been busy scanning photos in there from a photo album I'd put together of his grandma's family some years ago... 4 pages done, about 35 more to go (about 6-8 photos per page!!)

Max is still wonderful in the laundry department. He washes/dries, then dumps them on the bed for me to fold. It's a great help as I get back my energy - bit by bit.

Forty-niner

I had a birthday yesterday. It was quite enjoyable, if I DO say so myself! Lorna brought over a lasagne, salad and some GRAPES! MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmm! Lucky us! I got calls from my brother, sister, mom, mom-in-law, and Heather. Well-wishes from MANY at church!

Taija made me a chocolate cake - Max frosted it - Kyle found the candles, lit them (and blew them out, too!)
Below is a photo of my hair so far - it seems to be on "hold" at the moment - not much showing for all my efforts (eating healthy, taking vitamins, fish oil capsules, herbs.....) Just saw Carol's curly hair on her blog and I am wildly jealous!!! I definitely need to have words with my chemo doctor!!!!! (Maybe that's why I got a note that he's retiring.....)

Heather has found a new home up in Bellingham. We went around for a month taking photos of everything unique to Kennewick and its environs: Kennewick man (reproduction from mask), wind turbines on Horse Heaven Hills, the Moore Mansion, relatives' homes, neighbors, etc. I put together an entire album for her the night/morning before she left. Finished at 3am.... just now feeling back to normal after that!

Me and Heather before she took off...

Grab Bag

Karen talked with me Sunday about caring for my nails. I sanded them down because they were so bumpy. Ouch, ouch... Mistake! She referred me to a product called ProStrong. Just ordered some. Hopefully, my nails will stop hurting when I use it.

Karen also comforted me over my lack of hair growth. It's going to take a while. I whined that the hair that fell out is growing back in, but the hair I shaved off isn't. (You know, it should be "the last shall be first....," right??? She said this cancer treatment stuff is a "grab bag." You never know what will happen. I do know that my eyebrows are contemplating coming back - and my eyelashes have rebounded imperceptably. They are both showing traces of existence, much to my relief! Some people don't get them back at all!

Kyle saw me sans hat the other day. He announced that I have so much hair now that I can go without it....... Maybe later... when there's a couple of inches in length! (Though Sherry has plans to dye my hair soon and have me mousse it and wear it in spikes. Mmmmmmmmm, have to think on that one!)

3 months

I went to Dr. Chenal's today. I got emotional being there and almost bawled. Aaaaaack. Lots of memories of the place. But..... Looks like I'm healthy as can be. BP = 106/62 White blood cells are a bit low... the tumor # was just exactly within the normal range. So, I'm well! Yea! I go back the end of April for my next 3-month checkup. I have another mammogram next month (February.)

P.S. Heather went in for an ultrasound. She found a lump in her breast last fall. The doctor said it was a cyst and we finally talked her in to getting the followup ultrasound for today. The doctor said she was just "lumpy." At least now we know what is "normal" for her. Everyone else, PLEASE get your annual exam!!

P.P.S. My wig is making the rounds (ladies from work!) So glad that it's being put to good use. I feel guilty for not wearing it every day (as it cost a fortune!) but for now, Sundays will have to do. I just wear my hats to school. They are much more comfortable.

What to say

I ran into a friend at the store. Haven't seen her since before diagnosis and treatment. She kept repeating over and over: "I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know what to say, so I never said anything to you all these months."

I laughed and told her to say, "hi." Am I so scary that people would be afraid to talk with me? Cancer isn't contagious! Well... breast cancer isn't As far as I know. Anyway, I'm astounded by her reaction to seeing me.

And just say, "hi" next time you see me. (I promise I've stopped biting....)

Ahem....

Last Sunday a sweet lady at church stopped me and asked how I was doing. "Great!" I told her. "Really?" She asked. "Yes. Fantastic!"

Her next answer threw me for a loop: "Good, then I'll stop praying for you."

I'm still at a loss for words. "No! Wait. Keep praying.... pleeeeeease!"

There is about a 1/2" of hair on top of my head. Not quite enough to go without the hats or wig, I'm sure anxious for that time to come, though!

New Year's Day:


January 18th:

Getting Well-ified...

Glad for the weekend - I'll probably get lots of rest. But, I have actually had some energy this week - yea!!!!!!! The Christmas break was wonderful for getting rest. And reading.... (David Baldacci's "Divine Justice") And preparing to finish my on-line History 400 class (well, figured out that the chemo-brain thing has caused me to forget everything I'd previously read, so I'll have to re-read all the texts... sigh.)

Returned to the Family History Library last night where I serve as "librarian." My sabbatical is up! I found my sunglasses there that have been missing since last summer... and had fun catching up with the other librarians' news.

So GLAD that the snow is gone! It was so slick that on Monday I fell twice at work - crossing the parking area and again when I was going to the buses to assist students. They said that 11 staff at our school fell that day, including the principal. Innumerable students fell. We kept warning them about the ice, but many went down anyway. That's the tough part of having a California-style campus (all classrooms open to the outdoors) in a place with 4 seasons!

Merriest Christmas!

We had the nicest Christmas! Everyone was happy - pleased with their bounty... White Bluffs Elementary adopted us and treated us to a mighty fine holiday :)

Max got this photo of me while I was still asleep - before all the festivities...(you can see that my left eyebrow is missing as well as all eyelashes...gone! Oddly, they've fallen out since November while there is some definite fuzz on the sides of my head - I actually have more hair than one of my brothers-in-law! Yea!!!

My absent port site is feeling much better. My sister-in-law was concerned that it had been taken out too early. Nope. It's feeling so GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Dr. Droesch surmised that my bruised jaw occurred after the anesthesiologist gave me more anesthesia (I was moving around while lightly sedated and lifting up my arms...) and then my airway collapsed. He had to hold my jaw up to keep it open so that I could breathe. My sister-in-law says that sometimes when a patient's airway collapses, they end up with broken teeth, etc. as the anesthesiologist rushes to insert a tube. I guess I got off easy, considering.....

It's GONE!

The surgeon took out my medi port this morning at Kadlec Hospital. YEA!!! It feels so much better already. Have to find out who won the fight, though.... that's what the kids said. My jaw has a bruise on it and inside my mouth is a cut and I have a sore tooth. We figured there must have been a boxing match going on while I was out with anesthesia. The doctor is supposed to call me back tomorrow and I'll ask him.

I wore my santa hat to the hospital to keep my head warm in this freezing weather - and they let me keep it on. ha! or, ho! ho! ho!

I'm looking forward to hanging out with the kids this week - watch them play in all this snow! (While keeping warm and toasty in my special socks and bundled in sweaters!!!) Tonight we watched edited versions of Mean Girls and The Bucket List. I liked them both!

Generosity in abundance!

We've had a two-hour delay for school all week. Amazing! I don't think we would have done so if we still lived in Colorado, but, hey, I got to sleep in which was wonderful.

I think I saw Rochelle yesterday at the Cancer Center. I didn't get a chance to say, "hi", but it looked like her and her kidlets. My Taija was excited to get to work on the puzzles that they have there on every table!

I stayed home yesterday. I had a headache and I knew that my one-on-one student wasn't coming to school.... so I got more rest and caught up on "Mom things" that haven't been done in too-long-to-mention.

After taking Taija to the orthodontist, We stopped by the Cancer Center. An elementary school had adopted us for Christmas and we got to pick up the gifts - it was overwhelming! Michelle and Karen at the cancer center were so sweet. I think they were having fun playing Santa! I cried. They had a bag of gifts for everyone - including the cats and doggies!! Whoa! I am so truly amazed and overwhelmed with the generosity that is cascading our way. The bishop stopped by earlier this week and brought a box of Christmas goodies and a gift card. People are so nice!!!

I'm getting everything ready for surgery on Monday (and Dr. Chenal's nurse called to say it was okay to have the port taken out! yippee skippee!!! I don't have to worry anymore about doing it on the sly.)

My port is almost history!

I talked with my surgeon - Dr. Droesch - yesterday and he's got me scheduled to have my port (where they gave me the chemotherapy drugs) removed from my chest December 22nd. I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!! It is ugly.... It sticks out 3/4"... and it gets irritated, so even though they prefer you to keep them in for a year, I'm giving myself an Early Christmas Gift and having it taken out.

(He did ask if it was okay with Dr. Chenal..... hmmmmm, never thought to ask him, but oh, well....)

. . . .2 . . . .1 . . .I'm Done!!!

Yippee! I had my last radiation treatment today. Lorna brought me roses - mmmmmmmmm!

The doctor said I have to come back in 3 months - and get another mammogram in 3 months... and see my surgeon, Dr. Droesch, in 3 months.... So, March should be busy with doctors... but, until then I guess I'm a free woman! Yea!!!!

Count down..... 6.. 5... 4.. 3....

#28 radiation treatment today - I only have two more to go - yea! I am burnt still, but Monday Dr. Gievers said "Let's get this over with!" and then prescribed me some hydrocodone to take care of the pain and benadryl cream for the itch and the plan to keep applying the silver sulpha-something to heal the three worst spots. Larry, the fellow who works on puzzles with me while we wait for our appointments, finished yesterday - he had 67 treatments. Two others we know have finished, too. I told him that cancer must be a thing of the past since we're all finishing up. He didn't think so.

So, Monday afternoon I should be finished! I will have to have a Finisher's party or something...

I met a gal while waiting for radiation who is actually from my water aerobics class of a few years ago who just finished chemo and is now doing radiation... small world. (But I'm jealous cuz she didn't lose all of her hair... different chemo drugs.)

Went to the eye doctor's on Tuesday. The chemo drugs have caused cataracts to start on my eyes. Dr. Manley is going to keep an eye on that and see how fast they grow. I also have 3 more 'bleeder' spots in my eyes from diabetes. (Something else he is also going to watch.) I left my glasses with them since I'll be needing a new prescription for my lenses. Maybe I'll be able to Read with these!

I was remembering last week all that I have to be thankful for:
- finding 'the lump' in time
- having great doctors for surgery, chemo and radiation
- having even better nurses/technicians to pull me through the hard times!!!
- having a husband and kids who love me in spite of my bald head, absence in the kitchen for 6 months, and all my tears...
- the prayers of many, many friends, family and people I don't even know!
- caring people who've called or brought meals, notes, pillows, quilts, afghans, socks, plants, flowers...

THANK YOU!!!!

Burnt - still...

Every Monday I get checked by Dr. Rege before starting radiation for the week. Last week she gave me a prescription for my burned underarm and neck. I also didn't get radiation in those places for a week. I still have to get 5 more treatments there, but it was set aside to "rest" until after they did a new area.

So, last week they zapped me with "electrons" in an area right in Left center where the incision was. (TechnoGuy told me that the other areas were getting zapped by "Photons".) It's red in the new place now - just no pleasing this body of mine, is there?

When Dr. Rege saw me today and how burnt I am, she said that I won't get radiation AT ALL for a week. If we have to keep prolonging this I may yet be there when they finish the Cancer Center's new addition!

I told the nurse about my feet - they're peeling. She said it's a delayed reaction to the chemo treatments. I guess it's that palmer-plantar syndrome come to haunt me.... At least my UT infection has cleared up! Dr. Rege said that having that is what made me burn so badly - she said that my body couldn't fight off both things at the same time.

And Stephen wrecked his two-week-old car Friday and has had a dozen other "tragedies" recently (And - sigh - that great behavior straight out of boot camp has finally worn off)... the middle two kiddos went to a big dance Saturday dressed in 50's outfits (you-know-who helped get the outfits together) ... Kyle's school has had parent-teacher conferences this month, so they've had lots of days off and early releases... Hmmmmm, I'm contemplating moving to a deserted island for the rest of the year..... too many things coming at me all at once!

Cross your fingers...

It's gotta work - I'm crossing my fingers (and said a prayer): the antibiotics I got today will heal my UTI. The prescription for my burnt underarm will do its thing - please!

Burned... Finally

So, Last week I was a tad pink on my left side where the 180 rads zap me each day. By Friday I was burnt. Ouch! I put aloe vera on my chest, neck and back twice a day, but it happened anyway. It hurts like any sunburn, but I guess I'll live. I'm also very exhausted. Some days I can't get up for work. Today I missed church and slept the entire day. This is frustrating!!!

My blood sugars have been way, way out of whack, too, which has led to a grand UT Infection. Treated it by drinking some apple cider vinegar yesterday and more today. I may have to visit the doctor, though. Whine, whine, whine..... I need some cheese with that! (That's what I tell my kids, anyway, when they carry on and on like I have!)

Rads and Markings

Today I had the kids with me - appointments, shopping Value Village's 50% off sale, radiation treatment..... The radiation techs told me that I get 180 rads each day. I'm not sure how that translates or compares to other x-rays... I asked Dr. Geivers (sp) (who's stepping in for Dr. Rege this week) yesterday about my lead apron question... why you cover yourself with a lead apron when you get Dental x-rays and not with my treatments.

Know what he said? The lead apron is just a "feel good" kind of thing. It doesn't do much and the low dose of dental x-rays really don't cause any harm, either. On the other hand, the ultra-high dose of radiation given for cancer treatments would have no problem penetrating a lead apron ("like a knife through butter") and the techs give this high dose in a very specific, directional way..... So, don't know if I feel better about that or not... I had my first twinge of pain with today's treatment.

After my zap session today, I had to remain still while they added several pieces to the "head" that does the zapping and then began marking all over me again. Dr. Geivers came in to check out the tech's artwork. Apparently he approved. This was done so that they can focus on the tumor site for future treatments.

The kids survived having to wait for me through all of this. I was duly impressed and treated them to some Halloween candy that I keep in my purse (for my one-on-one student - really!) Now that our 4-day weekend is over, We head back to school for 3 days... it just might be a rest compared to what I've been doing all weekend. (Washing walls to rid the house of the "smoke" flavoring I added Sunday, sorting and doing laundry... appointments.)

1/2 way there!

I've now had 17 (of 30) radiation treatments. My zapped skin is "tougher" feeling, but I still don't have redness anywhere. The aloe vera is working...

Heather and I got our passports in the mail on Friday! yea! Now we need somewhere to go! Any ideas?

Yesterday, I got some soft ski hats to wear on my sore head - it has prickly hair and soft fuzzy hair both growing - but rub it the wrong way and my scalp HURTS! ouch! I got an eyebrow pencil, too, since my eyebrows are NOW coming out to join my almost-lashless eyes. What a dirty trick to pull - just when I figured all the damage was done and I was on the way to recovery!

Recent accomplishments: Max & I got to the temple yesterday. And we stopped at Sonic and had Sonic Burgers, onion rings and shakes! yum! We haven't been on a "date" in months! Today I led the music at church (shaking all the way!) Bit by bit I'm getting back to normal.

(I smoked up the house pretty good today - while I was leading the opening hymn I realized that I had left some beans boiling on the stove at home. After that hymn, I walked down into the congregation and asked Max to please run home and deal with the situation... Stephen had already done that (he attends the single's ward later in the afternoon). When Max got home, the smoke alarm was going - and he found that Stephen'd opened the windows & doors and taken the burnt pan of beans out onto the porch. Whew! The house is still pretty stinky. Maybe I can wash one wall at a time over the next few days......)
(And the geraniums Mom planted for me this summer are still blooming! I wonder if I can get them in the house and save them over the winter :) )

Prozac Moments

Wednesdays are usually longer at the radiation place. It was at least 20-25 minutes today (and absolutely no moving!) The techs get regular x-rays along with the treatment x-rays. I asked why I don't get a lead apron over the parts of me that aren't the target area (like when you have your teeth x-rayed.) I didn't get a very good explanation, so I'm going to try asking the techno-speak guy tomorrow.

Today I almost got a kink in my neck because I was laying in my "usual" position so long. (I lay on a platform on my back, hands over my head, head turned to the right, the left half of my gown open to expose my tattoos.) They adjust the machine to "91.5" which is how many degrees off-center the rays are so that they just touch my lungs. (There was a whole lot more to that explanation by the techno-speak guy, but I couldn't grasp the entire concept.)

I went to Dr. I yesterday. Heather made the appointment and took me. I was home from work and I'd been crying - again. I had actually been working on a prayer. I was thanking God for my chemo and radiation when I just lost it and started the crying jag. I remembered that Dr. Rege had suggested on Monday that I talk to Dr. I about Prozac. She said it's often needed for 6 months after treatments. I've been so weepy lately and it's been getting worse. Hopefully, I'm now set to compose myself... eventually. If my family can wait that long...

Dr. I answered a lot of my questions that I've been saving up. For instance, my numb toes don't have anything to do with diabetic neuropathy, it's strictly a side effect of the chemo drug Taxotere. I was worried about that. He also checked my A1C (a diabetes test to see how much sugar has been in the bloodstream over the past 3 months) it was lower than before I had cancer and the steroid treatments! Guess checking every 2 hours helped!

The young girls from church brought over a lovely gift for me this afternoon - cut out leaves with "get well" messages attached to a long braided cord. It is very cheering! I am not forgotten!

Radiation #13

So far, so good. No redness where they're zapping me with the x-rays. No pain. I saw Dr. Rege today who told me that - unfortunately - there are no "magic" pills to give me energy (I asked!) She said that people who've been through chemo and then go on to radiation are just very tired. She said she'd write me a note to excuse me from work if I needed it. I was approved for sick leave sharing last week, so I may just have to take some time off.

I actually took the day off from work today because I had the nasty flu all weekend. Kyle had it last week. Then Jacob. Then Stephen. Now me and Heather. We're just a sharing kind of family! The other family members aren't eager for us to share, however.