CT results

Yesterday was Heather's birthday and after my appointment with Dr. Chenal (and a blood draw) and my radiation we went to the county courthouse and applied for our passports. We're headed nowhere, but just want them. It was her birthday gift from me. I was completely worn out from all of the above (and a low-blood sugar episode to boot) so I sent Heather out to buy her own cake and ice cream and to bring pizza home for us. She was okay with that. I had to weep a while thinking of how I couldn't even manage birthday trappings for my girl.

At my appointment yesterday, I whined to Dr. Chenal that my fingernails are all warped and my toes have been numb for two weeks. He just looked at me and said, "But you're done with chemo! Aren't you glad?" Oh, yeah. I forgot to be glad. Shame on me. I am glad, actually.

He said that the CT scan showed that my lymph nodes have shrunk and there is nothing abnormal about them and that the blood tests were great, too. So, I just have to go back in January and every 3 months for a couple of years. (I still have radiation every afternoon until December 3rd.) And, the radiation reduces my chances of cancer recurrence from 30% to 2%, so I guess I'm glad about that, too.

My hair? Take a look at your arm. That's what my scalp looks like... pale hair all around. It's darker at my sideburns. (For the passport photos and signing, I wore my wig, hope that isn't illegal.)

PINK week

Wednesday I got a CT scan of my chest area - I should know the results of that next Wednesday when I meet with Dr. Chenal. And, I've survived a full week and two days of radiation. The only part that feels irritated is my upper arm - and the technicians say that it isn't even getting zapped. Silly arm! I started taking off my insulin pump during treatments because even though they say it isn't in an area that gets zapped, I'm not completely convinced anymore.

(Look at the center of this photo. Do you see that tall fellow wearing what looks like a white T-shirt? That's our Jacob!)
The high schools have been having the kids wear pink this week in support of breast cancer awareness. Wednesday, on my way to radiation I saw part of the 3-mile-long link of students (from Kamiakin to Southridge) who showed their support by forming a human chain between the two schools. I tried to get my own photos, but a guy behind me was yelling to keep moving... so, these photos are from the Tri-City Herald. The one below is of one of Kamiakin's attendance secretaries who was also out supporting the chain - a very nice lady:




I went at half time last night to the football game between Kamiakin and Southridge. They presented a check for $15,000 to the Cancer Center - money the schools had raised this week.
The football players had pink ribbons on their helmets. The marching band and color guard were wearing pink shirts. Taija is in Southridge's color guard and I got some photos of her before heading out. (Max was patiently waiting for me in the parking lot.)

(That's our Taija out in front!)
I still get weepy. Don't know why. I got a spell during my radiation yesterday. Had to hold still while tears flowed. I tried to distract myself by counting the screws on the radiation equipment. 18.

Kamiakin's office ladies tried to convince me a couple days ago to apply for leave sharing and take time off work to get to feeling better. I am really trying to get some energy back so that I can do this job and take care of my family. It's a slow road, but I think bit by bit I'm coming along. I try to get some rest after school, but the kids always need to be somewhere.

When I have the energy, I've read the "Number 1 Ladies Detective" series by Alexander McCall-Smith. They are a lot of fun and easy reading. I also am trying to piece back together what I had started on my BYU Bachelor of General Studies class last March.

Radiation #3 of 30

Been really tired this past week. I couldn't stay for all of church yesterday and I nap every day for several hours. That's what I get for being a slug all summer! I blamed part of this weakness on the radiation, but apparently, the "tiredness" doesn't kick in for almost 3 weeks. Carol brought over dinner for us on Saturday - what a terrific marvelous surprise!!!

I didn't realize that I'm supposed to be 1/2 hour early to my radiation appointments on Mondays. Dr. Rege and her nurse saw me today before my treatment. Everything looks good so far. Have to put Aloe Vera gel on my radiated site twice a day. I hadn't been doing that. They gave me a pink bag for breast cancer awareness month. And a bracelet that someone had made. Really pretty!!

One of the radiation computers was down today, so I waited over an hour for my treatment. Once I got in there, I was zapped 6 times. Same as before. The radiation tech (or whatever his title is) told me that the rays are x-rays and we had a discussion about how "long" the zaps are and why... Pretty technical stuff.

The kids at Kamiakin and Southridge are doing a "Link" on Wednesday. They're going to make a chain of people from one school to the other. Taija tells me that they need 3,600 people to make the distance. Volunteers are welcome! All this is to raise awareness of breast cancer.

I'm still confused as to why breast cancer gets all the attention over other cancers. A lady tried to explain to me today that it's because breast cancer is very invasive and causes so many deaths. I will have to research this.

Started Radiation!

It's been an exhausting week being back at work. And my eyes have been running! I promise I'm not crying! At least not today. After work Monday I was very emotional and cried for two hours. Not really sure why - just over-tired, I guess.

Monday, I also got a digital mammogram - they take much longer than regular ones. After being kneaded, squished, and rayed, the technician showed the results to the doctor. After a bit, she returned with Dr. Weighall in tow. I thought for sure if he was showing up, the news must be bad, but no: things looked great!

Wednesday, after work, I went to the Cancer Center and got marked up again and x-rayed. This was their final check before radiation started - which began today.

Every day now after work until December 3rd I'll go in to the cancer center, put a hospital top on, lie down on a table, get lined up according to my tattoos, then lay there for about 8 minutes. The hardest part is not getting to move! I can't even itch my nose!! I try to concentrate on looking at all the colorful ceiling tiles - yesterday's room had some from Kennewick High. This room today had a sign that its tiles were from the boys and girls clubs. They had lots of "Be Happy" phrases everywhere. So, I took their advice and am. Just tired, though.

He's back....

Stephen made it home last night from boot camp. We picked him up at the airport about 8:30. He's turned into a regular gentleman. At home he asked permission to open the fridge and get something to eat. I can get used to this!

Kyle and Dad made it back from boy scout camp a few minutes ago. It must have been cold. Kyle had on 3 coats and said he cried this morning. (Just like us here at home with the thermostat not working properly.)

I am getting myself ready to start back to work on Monday. My emotions are swinging around like a trapeze artist. Dr. Chenal's office didn't get back with me (I gave them notice on Wednesday) about the note I need saying I'm healthy enough to return to work. I guess I'll have to get that Monday after work and after my mamogram at Kadlec.

Six months now

Watched Conference this past weekend. Last time it was Conference - six months ago - the kids and I were in Salt Lake watching it in person. And this cancer was just a mystery lump that was most likely just "a cyst." I still don't look at it as being so horrible. Somehow in the past few years I've managed to survive knee, back and wrist surgeries, a hysterectomy and a broken leg. I've learned to manage my Type I diabetes throughout it all as well. And now this taxotere routine is miserably predictable; but Taija pointed out that it's Almost Over! I need to be reminded frequently as I wade through the next few days of aches and pain, nasty taste buds, ugly fingernails and sluggish sleep.....

Friday, I went to the radiation side of the cancer center. Larry the Simulation Guy took me back to a room that had colorful ceiling tiles (courtesy of one of our middle schools) where I got my photo taken, reversed my gown - ooops - and waited for Dr. Rege to come. She drew all over me with a black marker - up my neck, down my side, around my chest, etc. Larry taped wires over the markings and made a template, then put me through a CT scan... and got more photos (aaagh!) Finally, he daubed ink at the top and middle of my chest and on either side, then poked the areas with a needle - my tattoos! (No, he wouldn't do hearts or smiley faces...) In a week or so they'll call and set up my radiation times.

Next Monday I'll be back at work. Oh, boy! Wish I had my hair back, though. The nurses said to expect some fluff in a couple months. I can't wait! (A side note: My super-de-duper insurance has an exclusion about wigs.... they won't pay for the one I bought last spring.)

Last Chemo!

The nurses sang!

Just got home - after 5pm. Sharel took me to chemo at 9am. What a sweetie! It was A LONG day! It's my own fault, though. I finished chemo at 1:30pm - which I knew would be the case and then I had a 3:30 appointment with the Dr. Rege about my radiation which was in the same building. I had decided ahead of time to just hang out there for the duration. I will see her again on Friday. I had asked earlier if I could hang out in "my chair" until my second appointment. It worked out okay. I read and napped. Then Heather took me home. And I've FINISHED chemo!

Afterwards, the nurses sang, "For she's a jolly good fellow..." and gave me a card and a bottle of sparkling cider! They are so good to me.

With my personal chemo nurses - Laela and Gloria


I found out that I'm not "finished" with them yet, though. I meet with Dr. Chenal in 4 weeks. (Have a CT scan in 3 weeks to see how the cancer looks.) I'll have more labs then and then I have to go in every 4-6 weeks to get my port flushed. They will leave that in for about a year. (As I've noted before, I Do Not Like my port!) I didn't realize there would be on-going care. It made me weepy to think of all this additional "stuff."

And that isn't all the "stuff." Dr. Rege wants me to have a mammogram (I'm doing it at Kadlec in 2 weeks) and more blood work and the appointment on Friday is for the "simulation." I think that means I'll start with them making forms, etc. I'm supposed to begin radiation within 2 weeks. That will be daily for 6 weeks. (The side effects will mainly be skin burn and tiredness. I think I can deal with that! Chemo is supposed to be much worse than radiation.)

Ra ra sis boom ba!

So you don't think I'm always pathetic and miserable, I thought I'd share that things are going really well today. Heather and I got out today (and somehow two packages of Little Caesers breadsticks joined us for lunch!) I read a really good mystery book today (The Keepsake by Tess Gerritsen.) I've watched Heather's hyperactive kitten race around and around and around. And, my innards are HEALTHY today! Yea!

I'm just lacking in energy. I think I turned into a slug with this last treatment. (Slugs are hairless and slow and lay around a lot, yes??)

Miracles never cease!

Last night I got a phone call from Carol. She arranged with Susan to alter Taija's homecoming dress - yea! And at the talent auction, she was the winning bid for April's "Hair Styling..." which she donated to Taija as well. Looks like my little lady will get off on her first date really well-prepared!

The last couple of days have been hard. Not feeling very well. But, in spite of that I had made it my goal to be ready to return to work Monday, October 13th. I've been trying to put forth more energy and doing more - walking around the block, etc. But it just seems to backfire. Today, in tears I prayed for help and laid down; wrapped myself in the afghan Mom just sent. And wouldn't you know, she called right then. Just when I needed it most! Mom knew to call and Dad prayed for me and I'm doing lots better. My own miracle! God certainly is aware of us, even all our minutae! Thank you for your warm thoughts and prayers :)

Tales from Sleepy Hollow

I think I've been asleep for about 3 full days now. I've been up long enough to eat and run to the restroom, but am soooooo sleepy, I just crash again. I guess it's the kytril and phenergen (anti-nausea meds) combined with the chemo and pain medications.

Yesterday, Max took Taija out looking for a homecoming dress for next weekend. That's how out of it I am! They came back with a pretty dress that needs some altering.

This and That and Steroids

Sharel took me to and from chemo #7 today. Thank you!!!!! So far so good. I didn't get to sleep until 5:30am - the steroids keep me wired. My blood pressure this morning was 156/80 - it's NEVER ever been that high - even when I was in the hospital last week with the kidney infection. The nurses said it might be the steroids and only getting 1.5 hours sleep this morning/last night.

The steroids have also caused another trauma in my life. I realized last night (when I wasn't sleeping) that due to the steroids, I will not be able to compete in the 2012 London Olympics. Not that I was making plans, but to know something is completely off-limits now was a bit of a startle. (As I see it, even if my blood doesn't show the steroids by then, my almost-existent transparent hairs would show that I have used them... sigh...)

Chemo #7

I tried to get out of it. My tooth has been aching for over a week, so when I went to the dentist, I fully expected him to tell me I needed a root canal. ANYTHING to avoid having treatment #7!!! No such luck. The x-rays were fine, he ground down the crown some and said it may have been throwing off my bite which in turn caused the pain. So, looks like I'll be pumped up with Taxotere again tomorrow after all. I've even started the dexamethasone (steroids) like a good girl....

Update

Home sweet home. I made it home last night (Thursday) about 8pm. The doctor had come by and "released" me about 5pm, but you know how things take time.....

On Wednesday, I didn't see a doctor until 8pm. He told me that he needed to talk with a urologist. So, on Thursday when I saw Doc Budweiser again (I kept looking, but couldn't quite catch his entire last name... it was something like Bun...weis...) he told me that he had talked with the urologist (who has an equally unpronounceable name) who told him that sometimes with chemo, a person can get "uric acid" stones in the kidneys. He said I may have had one which would explain all the blood and the pain in the right side. Well. I don't want to do that again. Hope my body has it figured out how to avoid future occurrences.

My chemo nurses were concerned enough about me when I didn't show up on Wednesday (Dr. Chenal forgot to tell them about my hospitalization) that they called Max and asked what was going on. Then on Thursday, Diana - Dr. Chenal's physician's assistant - that I see every other visit - stopped by and checked me over to make sure I was doing okay. She was so nice. Dr. Droesch who did my cancer surgery saw my name and stopped in to check on me, too. He said that he would be seeing me many more times in the future as he keeps tabs on this cancer.

Cleta came by on Thursday with flowers. So sweet! Tracy, Teresa and Sherry from Kamiakin's life skills class - where I will eventually get back to working - stopped in on Wednesday and chatted and brought a plant and the funniest get well card. We laughed for two hours. I was very well-taken care of during my stay at the hospital! And am VERY glad to be home again... Where I will wait for chemo #7 to take place NEXT Wednesday (the 17th.)

p.s. I have a VERY VERY sparkly clean shower and bathroom since Kathy stopped by and brought her bucket of cleaning supplies. YEA! It hasn't sparkled like this in years! THANK YOU!

New Address: Kadlec Hospital Room #316

Help. I'm being held captive here at Kadlec Hospital. Can't be released until my kidneys start behaving - discard their infection and lose some inches!

I figured I had some kind of urinary tract thing going again Monday. Drank water by the gallons. Didn't do the trick. Tues. morning at 4am I woke and was in awful pain in my right side. I got in to Kania Clinic as soon as they opened. By then I was throwing up and my "sample" was dark brown. The doctor told me to go to the emergency room. I chose Kadlec and he called them and sent paperwork with me. When I got here at Kadlec, I was treated like royalty! I figured it was because the clinic had called ahead. Nope. Each of us was given his own wheelchair as soon as we arrived and after visiting a triage nurse, I was shown a room and was seeing a doctor - all within 45 minutes! I am still in amazement! This is NOT the treatment we've seen elsewhere!

They gave me medication for the kidney infection and did a CT scan, since they were wondering if the pain was from gall stones, kidney stones or appendicitis. It showed that my kidney was enlarged and infected. I guess the doctor took one look at this bald diabetic with a kidney infection and decided to keep me as an unusual specimen or something, cuz it's Wednesday - after 2pm and I'm still here. Haven't seen the hospitalist since last night when I was admitted.

One of the nurses here said that I may be here a few days. Sigh. This was NOT in my plans. I was supposed to teach the lesson at the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meeting yesterday afternoon. And take Taija to her new job. And get ready for chemo #7 that was supposed to be today.

Actually, I have to confess. I just wasn't getting enough attention. I had to do something drastic to keep the focus on ME and this was it - coming down with a grand kidney infection. They're giving me IV's and being generous with the Ciprofloxacin. And feeding me well. And I'm sleeping a lot. And feeling special! And my family is being taken care of extra well by grandparents (brought pizza last night!) and our dear Relief Society President!

A few numbers:
*21 - the number of times I was poked, prodded or wakened from being admitted at 4:30pm until 5am this morning. Even more since then. They really like my blood; they must have some caged vampires they're feeding.
*Two - number of chest x-rays they gave me - at 8pm last night (I thought my kidneys were on my right side - with all the pain???)
*Once/day - the number of pain medication doses I am allotted (they called the doctor and made some adjustments)
*Twice - the number of times Heather has visited me today. She came back with my laptop and toothbrush and insulin pump supplies. She's been very caring and helpful - what a sweetie!
*40 minutes - amount of time between bathroom visits (with the IV going, I keep running!) I figured out how to unplug the IV and get around and back and replug it rather than waiting for the nurse assistant to keep helping!
*3 - number of hospitalists - doctors - to see all us patients in the hospital today. Nurse said I should get a visit by 5pm. (He came at 8pm!)

Hands are doing their thing....

Right on schedule - my hands are reacting to the Taxotere just as they did last treatment. They're red and itchy and puffy. Next will come the peeling. (P.S. My hands never peeled during this treatment! I guess giving me 10% less medication was the answer to that!!)

I'm not very energetic lately. I spent all day yesterday in bed sleeping. Did some of that today, too. My blood sugar levels are through the roof. I can't quite figure it out since I haven't had the steroids in a week.

I got some of my scrapbooking things organized this morning while Renee was over. That really needed doing in the worst way! I'm torn now between traditional scrapbooking and digital scrapbooking. I love both.

p.s. Have you ever had your tongue "twitch"? I've gotten used to my limbs acting up (RLS, etc.), but my tongue?

Editorial Page:

So, here's my editorial from Sunday's paper. I stuck with a photo with hair - the same one that's to the right of this blog, in fact. (p.s. Don't be too disappointed that my opinions are so inane. Max said I probably wouldn't have written it if I hadn't been having chemo treatments!)


It's been noted by a few of you in letters to the editor that Kennewick's Fourth Avenue is pretty lumpy. What many fail to realize, however, is that it's SUPPOSED to be that way! Don't you realize that we pay good tax dollars to maintain those speed bumps/dips disguised as pot holes and road patch? It keeps traffic to a minimum, eliminating the need for expensive stop lights. It slows down traffic which keeps the neighborhood children and pets safer. So please stop whining - travel Tenth Avenue or Clearwater if you need to cross town. Leave Fourth Avenue to bicyclists wanting a true off-road experience. Or to those pregnant women wishing to induce labor. And to me so that I can cross town without stopping at dozens of red lights!

My five minutes of Fame?

Just got an e-mail from the TriCity Herald. I am going to be highlighted in Sunday's Opinion Page for "Editorial of the Week." Can't decide whether to send them a "before" photo with hair or one of me BALD. Check it out to see which I choose!

Chemo #6

Heather took me to my sixth chemo yesterday - only two more to go. The next one on Sept. 10th. Dr. Chanal gave me 10% less Taxotere than before to see if my hands do any better this time around. The nurse assured me that even though it was less medication, it would be just as effective. I hope so, I don't want to ever go through this again! (I have to confess that the palms of my hands are finally peeling. Sigh. Here I thought I was going to avoid that completely.) Nurse Gloria also said she loves my port (I hate it because it has a large red scar on it and it sticks out so clearly) she says it's really easy to access. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

My parents - ever the studious ones - found an article that mentions Paxil can lead to 50% more cancers. I took that for two - three years. Can I blame the breast cancer on it? I wish I could pinpoint exactly what caused it so I don't ever get it again.

Our ward has brought over meals this week. It's been so NICE! I love not having to cook. Maybe I should hire a cook when I'm rich and famous. (Not any time soon, I'm afraid.) In the meantime, I'll be working on training the kids. (A very hard thing to do since they're all ADD/ADHD and end up forgetting to add the main ingredient, or don't wash the baked potatoes, or get sidetracked and we eat at 8pm.....)

Max is leaving early in the morning to fly to Atlanta to see Stephen graduate from Basic Training. He'll be back Monday. So we'll have the whole holiday weekend to ourselves. Stephen will be staying in Atlanta until October 10th to get his IT training. Max is under the impression that he may get sent to Afghanistan or somewhere once he gets back. I haven't heard any of those details myself. But it's been so nice and "quiet" here with him gone. (He's an expert at stirring things up when he's here.)

Latest

While we were out getting some school things Monday, I tracked down some cotton gloves. I wear them when I can... Keeps me from picking at my peeling skin - and noticing them in general. I was surprised that I had the energy to take the kids out on Monday to shop. They each admitted that they'd been praying I'd have enough energy - what angels! Of course their prayers were answered. (After running a few errands on the way to the mall, I sat in the kid's play area while they did their shopping at PacSun and Penneys.)

It's a good thing I have such a large stash of pillows. My head is so hot when I try to get to sleep at night. I flip sides of pillows every couple of minutes, then switch to a different pillow (about 7 of them) until I finally fall asleep (about 1:30am most days.) I explained to the kids - again - that I need the extra hour of sleep in the mornings and they've been better about quietly getting ready for school - after doing their paper routes - until 7am when it's family prayer time. Once I'm awake, I can't sleep until again 1:30am. I heard it's the steroids that keep me wired. They're affecting my blood sugars again, too.

I talked with Tracy who is substituting for me with my student at Kamiakin. Johnny is doing great. They survived without me. Yea! I'll be seeing them -hopefully- the end of September.

Number 29

Friday, Max and I celebrated our 29th Anniversary. Yea! Because I didn't get a treatment this week, I felt confident that we could do some travelling with the boys - to my very favoritest of favorite spots - Mt. Rainier and the Grove of the Patriarchs. I LOVE those old trees. They give me strength - knowing they've endured for over a thousand years. (We found some heart-shaped greenery on the pathway - appropriate for our 29 years of marriage!)

We met up with my friend Renee and her family and their foreign exchange students. We had lunch together at their camp spot at La Wis Wis,
then went our separate ways to explore the most beautiful place on earth! We drove up to Paradise and then to the Grove of the Patriarchs.


Then home. I was pretty well exhausted by then. I lounged around in my jammies all Saturday to recuperate.

My left pinky's fingernail is coming off. It doesn't hurt, but I wonder if others will follow its lead. At least my hands are looking better. Still peeling, but they don't look so scary. I attended our life skills classroom get-together last Thursday and the new teacher and his wife had seen others with cancer go through this hand stuff, so it must be pretty common.

Heather brought home a kitten last week. It's pretty entertaining, to say the least. Between it and my genealogy projects and the Olympics, I'm keeping busy. The kids have been extra helpful this week in doing their chores - alleluia!!!!

Grandpa Eldon Harward

Dad called me today and cheered me up. I really needed it since it was cloudy and rainy today - I have a hard time managing when it's not sunshiny out. He told me about his dad who was a sheep shearer (and coal miner.) He said Grandpa Eldon Harward was allergic to the sheep's wool and that his hands and arms would get covered with sores during shearing time. The sores would bleed and look horrible. Dad said to blame him for my rash/skin woes. When I told him it wasn't on my palms (though my fingers are now peeling), he said that Grandpa's never got on his palms, either. So, I inherited this great miracle skin on my palms. I'll be sure to thank him for the mixed blessing when I get to Heaven!

Ready? Set! Go Home...

Lorna graciously took me to chemo today. I even convinced her to stop by weight watchers first! I had her drop me off at the cancer center since I go an hour early for the blood tests. The nurses were fascinated by the nasty appearance of my hands. I put the Biafine cream on them so that they wouldn't look like I have leprosy. It didn't fool Dr. Chanal. He decided against giving the treatment today. He says my hands need another week to heal.

I was disappointed. Adding a week to my treatment is NOT in my plans! Lorna picked me up and took me home and comforted me while I bawled. I sure am weepy lately. It doesn't help that the steroids I took yesterday kept me up until 4:30am. I was so wired that the Valerian Root didn't work nor my Restless Leg Syndrome medication. I guess it's good that I won't have to take that today & tomorrow.

Another blessing that Lorna mentioned is that this rash/leprosy stuff didn't go to the palms of my hands. Dr. Chanal kept asking and was surprised that it hadn't. Just under my finger tips. I guess that I would really be miserable if it had!

PPE

This rash or "Palmar Plantar Erythrodysesthesia" of mine (PPE - it sounds like a Church committee of some sort, doesn't it?) happens when the chemo drug Taxotere leaks out of my blood vessels into my hands and feet. I put an expensive cream on it called Biafine 3 times a day. Since it's very itchy, the nurses said I could take Benadryl or put hydrocortisone on it, too. I've also been putting my hands on ice packs to relieve some of the pain. (Rinsing them in cool water feels great!) Yesterday the skin started peeling off of them - they look scary.

Taxotere also causes fingernails to warp or fall off. So far mine are just sore. I cut them short-short just in case. And my tongue is white. Nurse Gloria said it probably isn't Thrush, but it makes everything taste funny. (Doesn't keep me from eating, though.) I wonder what will happen with Taxotere #2 on Tuesday...

It's hard to feel bad about the chemo treatments, though, when I think of a gal at church whose husband died two weeks ago and left her with 3 little ones. I pray for her several times a day, wishing there was some way I could help take away her pain. I'm doing better after being weepy for two weeks (since Mom and Dad left.)

Did I mention that chemo has done at least one GREAT thing for me? (Besides losing 5 lbs last week.) The psoriasis that covered my legs is GONE! I just noticed this week. Yea!

I've seen some blond hairy things on top of my head, too. Is it new hair growing? Maybe it's just lint that's snagged on my sandpapery scalp. Time will tell.
P.S. Anyone want some ripe nectarines? I still have an entire tree full and I can't personally eat all of them myself... though I've been trying!

Rashes and such

I got the rash-stuff that I was supposed to watch for with Taxotere. It's on my hands. My hands often ache, too, which isn't fun. I stopped by the cancer center (we were close by for the kids' appointment) and raced in to show nurse Gloria. She took me aside and checked my vitals, etc. since I've lost 5 lbs this weekend due to the diarrhea. They got photos of my hands and said they would call in a prescription for this particular rash and that it would probably get worse before it gets better.

I got some awards with weight watchers today for my newest weight loss. I guess there are SOME good things that come of all this! (But I made it clear to them how and why I had lost the weight!)

I've been waffling back and forth about whether to go back to school (work) when it starts on the 26th or wait until chemo is over at the middle of September. I don't have as much strength as I used to. (Even my purse - the great U-Haul - that I lug around is too heavy for me anymore!) I checked with the school human resources person who does family medical leave. She was so wonderful. (She's new this year. Told me that two of her sisters have or are doing chemo.) We figured out that I should plan to come back to school the end of September. And even that is negotiable. It will be an "extra" month off, and I'll have to pay for the health insurance out of pocket, but I feel better now knowing what to plan for.

Taste Buds

My taste buds seem to have been obliterated by this last chemo. I can only taste "salty". My nectarines are finally "on" and they don't taste the same!

I got nauseated yesterday - day #3 seems to be the ominous day for chemotherapy. But, we managed, between Heather, Kyle and I, to shop some specials at Albertsons. I kept a barf bag handy and let them do all the "work." We saved $230 on our shopping spree!

Another reaction to this new chemo has emerged: aches and pains - like you get with the flu. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! And diarrhea. And, I'm still weepy, which is annoying. I took a call from the new LifeSkills teacher at Kamiakin and ended up breaking down. I'm sure the poor guy wishes he hadn't made THAT phone call!

I've been discombobulated!

Mom and Dad left yesterday after my 5th treatment. It's thrown me for a loop! I've had numerous "cries" today. Talked with Mom on the phone a few times. Kept myself busy sorting papers and stuff and doing laundry. Lorna called. So did my cousin Connie from Los Angeles. Twice. I'm getting cared for.

It's probably because I feel so much better after this treatment than the four previous ones that I even have the ability to feel discombobulated! These last four treatments will be Taxotere. I was so worried about starting the new chemo that I made myself sick on Sunday and Monday. I felt worse then than I do now.

I have to take steroids with the Taxotere instead of one of my nausea meds. (And I'm only having to take Kytril - because I'm supposed to - so I'm not so drowsy.) The steroids combat the fluid that builds up around the heart and lungs with this form of chemo. Dr. Chenal cut the steroids in half because of my diabetes. Still, my blood glucose readings ranged from 440 - 560 - 400's (most of the day yesterday) and ended in the 300's. By 1am I adjusted my pump settings and voila! I woke to a reading of 117. It's been normal the rest of today.

I just need to get used to these crying spells. I know it will take me a few weeks (as it does every time I've had surgery and had Mom to baby me!)

Diabetes & Chemotherapy: Co-Morbidities

Back in June when I began chemo I did an internet search on "Diabetes and Chemotherapy." With all that is out there on the web, I was dismayed to discover only a handful of hits and only one article of substance. The article called the situation "Co-morbidities" and discussed neuropathy (pain in the feet & legs.) Some diabetics get this after having diabetes for years. The article said that chemotherapy can cause this to occur as well. That sums up all that the entire world has published on the subject.

The Diabetes Learning Center had little more to offer. They are aware that the steroids given as part of the chemo throw a diabetic's control helter skelter. With their help, I've been testing my blood sugars every two hours. During the first 8-9 days after a chemo treatment, I also adjust my insulin to carbohydrates ratios. I take almost twice as much insulin with meals/snacks as I usually do. I switch the ratios on my pump back when I start getting low blood sugars, which occur about day nine.

I've been putting the data from my pump into a program. It shows charts and keeps track of how things are going. It looks pretty fancy. There really needs to be a handbook out there for us, though. Surely I'm not the only diabetic (Type I-Juvenile Diabetes) going through chemo. Or am I??? It would include things like how to eat prunes and roughage between episodes of nausea and how much insulin to give for each one. (They're about 5 carbs a piece, but make sure it stays down before administering insulin.) How long to wait for the food to stay down before giving insulin. How to do finger prick tests in your sleep and doing them without gagging at the sight of blood. Knowing if you're racing to the restroom because your blood sugars are high or because you have a urinary tract infection (again.)

Other notes I'd make in general:
*you will lose your hair on your head, maybe not anywhere else.
*You will be nauseous and even throw up a lot, but you will gain weight due to the steroids.
*Take your anti-nausea pills EVERY day, even when you feel great.
*You will be cranky, so go live on a desert island away from all annoying persons.
*Your hair actually cooled your head off way back when, now that it's gone, your scalp will be hot and it will cause anything that it lays on to get hot, too.
*Don't believe it when others say you don't have to shave your legs for the duration of chemo... (I shave the quills off every other day.)
*Acquire a collection of light, preferably funny, movies and books - you'll need these for those sleepless nights (unless you're taking the anti-nausea drugs that knock you out, you will NOT be able to sleep)

Beep beep beep - my pump says it's time to check my blood sugars again. Of course, it's 1:27 am, so what else would I be doing?

Just found this!

My computer was hiding these photos, but I finally found them. This is Tracy and Me at my second chemo treatment way back when. She was so good to come and sit with me. I absolutely have the best friends ever!

Apricot Jam anyone?

Today, Mom, Dad and I attacked the apricots - from my neighbor - with a vengeance. We've got some dehydrating and the rest (6 batches) were made into apricot-pineapple jam. What a lot of work! This morning, we also got two of the kids off on a pioneer re-enactment trek for four days (yea!) It took us all yesterday to get them ready. Well, it took so long because I have so little energy. (And Mom had to put a new zipper in Jacob's sleeping bag which turned out to be a sewing nightmare lasting til midnight. And we won't even go into Taija's pioneer-woman costume!!)

I felt bad yesterday - the neighbor cat pounced on a baby robin in our yard and the entire robin clan chased it. We got in on it, too. But the cat came back! She returned several more times and finished her deed while we were at dinner. The poor robins sat on the branches of our weeping birch chirping their sad story until late. I was sad, too, because I just found out that my lifeskills classroom teacher at Kamiakin is leaving. I just adore her and her way with the kids. I worry what I will return to when I finish chemo at the end of September. Another loss is my brother and sister-in-law and their four kids who moved to Wyoming today. And, the kids' doctor (ADHD specialist) is retiring next month. And, Mom and Dad are returning to Utah next Wednesday. What am I to do? I'm savoring every waking minute with Mom and Dad. I've loved having them here. We're sending them home with apricot jam for everyone... (is that kind of like leaving zucchinis on someone's porch??)

Sick today

I woke up this morning and realized right away that something wasn't right. I've got a raging Urinary Tract Infection. Never had one like this before. I got some good antibiotics and something else for the "discomfort." Heather got me some cranberry juice, too.

Mom and Dad are planning to return to Utah August 6th. Mom's bum knee needs to be checked out. It's been terribly painful for her the past week. I will really miss them. I love their cheery "Good Morning!" first thing in the morning and their love and care throughout the day!