Finally got treatment...

Yesterday I got my chemo treatment. We had to go to Kadlec due to our insurance situation. It actually worked out very well! I was put in a room with a bed for me (!!) and the nice cozy chair was for Mom. And they insisted that I order a meal since it was all part of the room coverage. Answering their myriad of questions was tiring, but other than that, we're looking forward to next week!

No steroids this time (no extra energy) and no Abraxane... I wish the steroids would leave (so I wouldn't look so fat).... they just keep hanging out in my cheeks...... I went to the dentist today since a side-effect of the zometa (bone strengthener) is degenerating jaw bones... They took some x-rays and said that the aches weren't due to the zometa - I'm so glad! But, they'll have this x-ray to serve as a baseline in case at some point in the future there is a problem.

Treatment is tomorrow

Changed insurance as of the first of the year. This complicated things as far as chemo is concerned. I got my lab work done and visited with the nurse practitioner, but I'll be getting chemo at Kadlec for the next several times. Starting with tomorrow. We got home after only being gone 3 hours! The nurse I got today told me as much or more than the one last week. She said that after going through radiation, it is expected that the scan on my brain shows larger tumors. She said that's why they wait at least 6 weeks before doing an MRI for the swelling to go down. So, drum roll........ my tumors are responding wonderfully to the chemo drugs; they've gone down in size. That's good news for me! So glad that Mom (and Dad) are here to get me everywhere and remember to ask all the good questions.

A few side effects - my fingers are tingly and numb.... my tongue tastes everything strange... My scalp is still really sore (and hanging onto those few whispy locks)...My appetite is way down - I only get a few nibbles down before I'm stufffed...

And, more good news. Saturday I tripped and crashed head-first into the bedroom wall (no, that's not the good news.......) Then I landed on my behind. And know what? I didn't break apart. My worst fear and I survived!!!!! I'm in one piece! Hurray!

Since then

Today - the day after chemo & the steroids - I have enough energy to be up BEFORE 9am and help Kyle pick up some toys and check my e-mail! Imagine! I've been Rip Van Winkle for the past week or so. I also had to have Neuprogena (sp?) shots 3 days last because my white blood cell counts were low. They weren't sure I'd get a treatment this week. But I did and I was glad to get one more treatment down.

The nurse practitioner Mitre saw me yesterday before my treatment. This woman KNEW more or at least SHARED more than everyone else we've seen combined! She gave me an antibiotic and nose spray for my ear/nose infection. She told me that the fact the tumors in the brain or bone and "grown" was not all bad. She said that they would look worse for a few months and then finally show what all the treatments had produced. She said that the one chemo drug Avastin crosses over into the brain and would work on those cancers. The Abraxane would work elsewhere in my bones. I'm so glad that I got to see her and find out all that...

Last night Max took me in for an MRI. I asked the fellow (who'se seen me for the last 3 MRI's) if the different loud sounds made up a pattern. He said, "yes". The different MRI sounds make different pictures. So now we know why we're all but deafened by those noises, Yes?? Hmmmmmm.

We were very fortunate last night to have Lorna bring us dinner. The Relief Society gave us a menu and insisted we use it one day each week for a while. Since we were getting chemo until after 5pm, that meal was a true blessing! We were also blessed to have Kamiakin HS bring us our Christmas meal - they were very very generous in their gifts to us as well! And while we were at Max's relatives home, some sneaky person left Christmas packages for us on our porch.... as did the school up in Richland - I am just overwhelmed! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We have been so blessed throughout all this.

New Skills.....

Yesterday I had a fun visit with Terre, Tracy and Donna! They brought over the softest, fluffiest bath robe on this planet earth! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! And the gummy worms were wonderful, too!

Last night while going through some e-mails, I came across one that was absolutely wonderful. Our church's Relief Society organization put out a call to each of us ladies wanting to know just exactly what skills we are wanting to learn. How can they be of assistance in our lives???? Here is what I replied:


Dear ladies of the Relief Society,

after I got your last e-mail about the skills we'd like to learn, I had me a great think. After pondering for some time, I decided that these are the things that I would like to know how to accomplish:

1. Boeing just came out with a 787... I'd like to know how to fly it.
2. I'd like to learn how to drive one of those oily asphalt rollers.
3. I'd like to learn to orchesterate the music and lights to one of Senske's fancy houses.
4. I really want to know how to produce and manufacture my own insulin
5. Mom says I should learn how to Cure cancer.
6. I'd like to dispose of 2 dogs and 20 cartons of magazines without my hubby noticing.

If you could arrange to teach me these skills, I would greatly appreciate it!
tHANKS !!!!!
lISA

Feelin a breeze.....

Okay, so I had chemo yesterday. They gave me Avastin (clear) and Abraxane (milky colored) as well as Zometa for my bones.... The bag of steroids I got kept me awake most of the night and gave me energy today. I even took a photo of me. Without my hat! AaAAAAAAaaaaagh. It's a rather nasty, revealing photo of my condition, but I thought I'd show you what the steroids and radiation have accomplished. Now you can go tell your kiddies to never, never. never get cancer!!!! Though I didn't look this way last time, I was bald..... and I normally have a hat on so that I'm less scary.

Sunday

I'm pretty pleased with myself - got to part of church today! I was too exhausted to stay for all of it. Had a great talk with Karen who has gone through a lot of what I have and has taught me tons about life! And I think I've worked myself all up over the chemo tomorrow..... keep "tossin the cookies" as one person says.

Faye brought me flowers and Roseann brought me over a warm cancer hat yesterday - so nice! Thank you!!! Thought I'd share some details with you: ever since that first surgery, I get to run to the water closet every two hours. without fail. But to get up off the bed or couch, I have to position my right arm and brace it for the inevitable shock of pain that comes when I swing my legs up and over, up and over and then use my left hand to manipulate me up... so my left hip - which is particularly weak - can come to a stand. At this point in time, nobody had better stand in my way - I hobble along imagining what it must feel like to be the giant slug, Jabba, from Star Wars fame! (And since the steroids have done their thing, I'm nice and plump to boot!)

No. I've a better analogy: with this warm cancer hat I look like a Smurf! Really! It's great.

Hold to the rod.....

The rod in my arm is sore, sore sore - with this cold snap we have here in Kennewick! Hopefully it will warm up this weekend.....

Dr Klarnet, my oncology doctor said we're starting chemo on Monday. He's not wanting me to go for the brain tumors just yet. The doctors will have to talk together about this. I'm just along for the ride, it would seem.

We're really blessed, I know I've had a few cries over this, but people have been so incredibly generous! We got a delightful bright red bag yesterday - thank you to this anonymous person(s). And the fruit basket from the ward and their singing was super! Thank you!!!!!!!

MRI NEWS

I told Mom today that I haven't had a single bit of good news from any of my MRI's so far.... Well. to continue in that tradition.... Sunday's MRIs showed that the cancers in my head have grown. The neurosurgeon was very surprised to learn that I have already FINISHED my radiation. He wants a more aggressive treatment plan and is going to talk with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) He did say that the radiation I've gotten probably killed off a lot of "baby" cancers that can't be seen.

Actually, his office just called and they've scheduled another brain MRI for next week and an appointment to see him. Is he thinking more surgery? ?????

The other cancer in my hips and sacral area - still there. So I had me a little cry on the way out the door. Oh, he told me to load up on B vitamins and get out and get some exercise. No more sleeping 18-20 hours per day. And the shaking? He says it's coming off the steroids and all the trauma my body has been through in the past many weeks.

balding

My hair is rapidly disappearing. Each brushful has me wondering it it's my last.....
I've also been so exhausted since Thurday that I have done nothing but sleep and sleep and sleep! My sister and her husband came up Friday and stayed until today. I am so lucky that they came!!! What fun they are!

This weeek we have three doctor appointments. One for my arm, one for the MRI's done on my head and sacrum and the next day to plan my chemo treatments.

Finished radiation!

Today I finished my radiation treatments - have a certificate to prove it! They also sent me home with my lovely white-plastic mesh mask. Each day it was placed over my head and screwed to the table below me. Can't imagine what I'll do with it - wear it for Halloween next year maybe??? They gave me one less treatment on my pelvic area. Better for my bowels, they said.

So, I have the MRI Sunday, arm dr. appointment Tuesday, Surgeon appointment for reviewing the MRI on Wednesday and chemo doctor on Thursday. In talking with the chemo people today, they aren't starting my next rounds until after Christmas - on the 30th. I'd like to get it over with, but I guess they're thinking to spare me the side effects for now....... can't imagine why else...

Anyway, Mom and Dad helped me celebrate my finishing radiation by treating me to Panda Express! It's funny, cuz I asked her to get me some egg rolls from the freezer for lunch.... and she had a bag from Panda Express instead! It was marvelous!

Stray thoughts...

I've had this thought the past few days. In August, Max's brother and family came up to visit Washington. We all went out bowling. Bowling, mind you... including me. I picked up the ball and tossed it down the lane. Didn't hit too many, but I was playing......

Okay, switch that thought to October 10th or so - when I picked up a blanket and broke my arm. I'm just amazed that the cancer was so aggressive! Hmmmmmmmm.... What kind of fluke was it?

I have one radiation appointment left: tomorrow. Did my last Taxol chemo today. I won't have any more chemo treatments until after next week when I talk to the doctor about a new drug: Abraxaine. It's similar to the Taxol but designed for metastisis.

This Sunday I am going to get MRI's of my head and tailbone. I am eager to see what the cancers have done. Hopefully, they will all be gone! I've gone through enough steroid treatments to shrink anything to the size of raisins! Everytime I get headaches or complain of anything, that's what they give me. I am so swollen in the face that I have stretch marks on my cheeks. (And my radiation mask squishes me all up!!!) Can't wait to FINALLY finish with them.... (I'm down to 1/2 tablet twice a day.)

My sister and her husband are coming up to visit this weekend. I can't wait to see them!

Side Effects....

Started losing some hair yesterday. Sad day. ALso,GI effects taking place, too. I couldn't get to church as a result. Having family here is a blessing for me. They are such a great support!

Chemo and Radiation... and Thanksgiving!

Just finished radiation #6 and chemo #2 (Taxol). The chemo doesn't seem to bother me so much as the stuff I took last year. I AM GLAD!! It is sunshiny outside, too. What more could I ask for? McDonald's and a chocolate shake? Got that, too! Yum.

I am thankful for my parents who've come up to take care of me every day... And For my family. I know that they're most important!!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

I am a sleepy girl....

I've been taking the anti-nausea medications. THey make me really sleepy. I'd rather sleep right now than be nauseated, though. It's a combination of the radiation on my head and the chemo that I started on Tuesday or WEdnesday. I'm not sure when right now.... sigh......

We went to Kyle's school on Thursday (that day is right) to see his Life SKills classroom and Mrs. C He was absolutely thrilled to be there and everyone was glad to see him, too! I'm glad we went:) We also took my Daddy out to dinner that night at the Great Wall Chinese Buffet. I was in heaven with all the yummy food and everyone else had a great time, too. It's fun to see Kyle pile up the crab legs and fish and delicacies that we don't have around home.

Mom and I went to a luncheon today - a potluck - my favorite! But, I ate too much and we had to leave a bit early. I finished reading Dan Brown's newest book "The Lost Symbol." The author doesn't know how to end a book... he kept on going and going and going trying to redeem himself from revealing so much about the Masons, I suppose. Anyway, I was glad to have something to read for a change. It's the first novel I've read this Fall. Now I need something new.... any ideas?

My mother=in-law and sister-in-law are coming tomorrow to sit with me while Mom goes to Church. What a sweet idea! I went to Sacrament Meeting last week, then came home to rest. THis time I'll be at home with my stomach doing its thing. Oh, wait, I forgot. I've been keeping up a mantra: I feel great, I feel fine. I feel great, I feel fine....

Scary Photos - view with caution!!!!!

Got my cables together and uploaded my photos.....


So, one of these is my head from 2 1/2 weeks ago... can you guess which?

I did chemo today - they can give Taxol while at the same time doing radiation, so I did that, along with a cocktail of benadryl, aluxi (sp?- a powerful anti-nausea), steroids (I am definitely bloated and looking like the good-year blimp lately!) and zanax. I also got zometa - bone juice. It took from 9:30am until 2:30 to do that. I had to "do labs" - give blood; visit with the doctor and then two hours of chemo. I didn't get radiation in today because their machines weren't working. I'm kinda glad, cuz I was so worn out after being on the other side of the building all day.

Back when I broke my arm and they put the rod down inside it at KGH:


Arm full of plastic iv stuff ready for brain surgery.....



There are more photos, but now the internet won't let me upload them.... these Really are scary photos!!!

New Tattoos

Went to two doctor appointments today. I start chemo next week in addition to the radiation. I had the forms made today for next week's radiation - a mesh mask for my head and they added tattoos to my right arm and pelvis for those areas. I guess I'll be beautifully covered with dots (got tattoos for the breast area when they did it last year). Larry and Kurt - the radiation guys - same as last time sent me through the CT scan a few times and had me all marked up. Guess I'm ready!

Went to Albertsons today - got to ride around in their little electric cart and get some of their specials. That's two places I've been now that weren't doctor's offices! Yippee!

Radiation on Monday

Went to Dr Rege today. She is anxious to get started on radiation. Dr Klarnet's anxious to start chemo - they're wanting to do both at the same time, but Dr Rege said she's not ever done radiation on the brain while the patient was receiving chemo. She wants me to check and make sure tomorrow when I go to Dr Klarnet's office. I have re-read Rochell's blog from last year when she found out the cancer had gone to her brain. The similarities are remarkable. Being on steroids, taking zometa...

Mom and I were right on when it came to knowing they should do the MRI on my left hip. Turns out there's cancer in both hips as well as the sacrum and arm and brain. So, they will radiate all those places. I shed a few tears. Mom, too. After the radiation I may get a second opinion from UW. Just so we know what's out there. That's what Dr. Rege suggested.

I had Max get some bath mats for the tub so I won't slip. I'm paranoid now about falling and breaking a hip. My hip has felt just like my arm did before it broke. Mom and I were laughing tonight and decided that I need a "lift chair" hung from the ceiling that swings me through the house!

Yesterday, Mom and I went to the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meeting. I give the lessons once a month. I missed last month as I was having the rod put in my arm, but I realized that as I entered the church it was the first non-medical place (besides home) that I've been in over 7 weeks! They gave me a lovely framed certificate for being their lesson leader, too. I think I'm spoiled!

Unexpected Sampler Program

I joyfully announce that the STAPLES are GONE! My head is FREE! There is still some pressure going on, but the doctor said it's a delayed response - my brain saying, "hey, sometime ago there was this tumor pressing around in here...." I even took some pain medication a minute ago, so I might feel better yet!

There was a full-page ad in the Sunday paper about Kadlec's neurosurgeons yesterday. It shows some doctors in full regalia. Says they can do anything from back surgery to brain surgery..... I figure that since I participated in an "Unexpected Sampler Program," I am qualified to comment on it:

Yes! The surgeons are very good and especially competent! Dr. Brian O'Grady and assistants did a phenomenal job. However, due to the pain involved, I regretfully do not recommend the back surgery, insertion of chemo port, broken arm and brain surgery all in the same month! (Or, as Marcia asked me last week, "Do you feel like someone took a bat to you?")

If you add a week's time, you can add these procedures:
5 MRI's, a bone scan, a pet scan, a CT scan and several x-rays.

Oh, and we asked about the extra staples on the left side of my head - he said that it was when my head was fastened in a vice and I moved and it got cut, so they put some staples there. I saved the staples, by the way. Though I felt like a Zulu warrior with rings up my neck, They're not as large as I had imagined. The ones in my back were much bigger.

Bowling Ball Head...

It's been a week since my last surgery. I feel like I'm carrying around a bowling ball for my head. It is frequently swollen. Well, it FEELS swollen and lumpy. I've written in my journal a few times that: My other head doesn't hurt! Surely there is another head up there.

Dr. O'Grady already told us he'd leave the one cancer there to be radiated, another "satellite" piece ended up getting left as well, as it wasn't wise to go up that high. He said that a part of the bone was eaten away by the cancer and that there was a cyst that drained completely when removed.

I came to in the recovery room with a large turban on my head. It pinched my head very tight. He came and cut that off Saturday morning. That pain is gone. I just have to try to position my head so it doesn't rest against the 22 staples (23 if you count the one way out in left field!) I was pretty nauseated after the surgery and they kept trying to get morphine down me, but I was throwing it all up. Then I had to have a CT scan done of my head - they schedule these in the middle of the night!! I threw up some more for them. I love the bags they have - I made sure I always carried one around.

Then, I thought to tell them that when I was going through chemo, I was prescribed phenergren and kytril. They used the first drug quite a lot for me in the next couple days and the nausea went away. But, they also kept trying to get morphine down me. yuck. The oxycodone thing helped more than anything else.

The ICU was really noisy. They have the nurses' stations right outside your door with all the delivery and doctors and etc. And machines... beeep beeeeeeep beeeeep. I was so glad to get home! But, the nurse didn't want to release me straight from ICU, even though the doctor ordered it. She had several concerns she had to check with him on - more nausea, high blood pressure. In the end, she had to let me go! aha! free woman!

I am just a bit blue wishing that some part of me worked really well - something I could show off: I can wave my left hand! "hi" Can't waggle my right one very well, though I keep on trying - need some physical therapy on it. My left hip is getting an MRI on Saturday - to see if it needs radiation therapy. With so many doctor's fingers in the pie, they've all pointed at each other on this one, but Mom and I are adamant: take a look! So Dr. Klarnet (with whom I did have an appointment on Tues.) prescribed it.

Max is getting good at showering me and shaving my legs! ha ha ha I appreciate his help. And daddy massaged my legs and shoulder the other day. Mama keeps the Essiac tea going....

I just can't believe the generosity of those who bring us meals and wishes. Thank you so very very much!

Home again

The surgery went well. They removed 2 of the cancer tumors. Will get the other 2 with radiation. Had a new hairstyle for a few days, the white gauze look. I am up and moving around, and I am at home!

i'm up

Got back a few hours ago from the pre-op stuff for Thursday. That will be my new surgery date. I had to have some blood work done and sign papers and talk with the nurses and anesthesiologist. He showed me pictures of my brain. It sounds like they do a lot of my surgeries there and I will be in ICU for a day or so.

I almost cried when he asked if I had pain on my left side. I DO. It's my hip and I'm afraid that I'll break it like I did my right arm. He said that the cancer pressing on the brain is causing the pain. mmmmm, that rhymes.

They will definitely be cutting off my hair in back. Well. It's done its part, I guess. He hopes they won't get air into the brain, so they will have me facing down and forward some to prevent that. My broken arm will be up against my side. Supposedly there isn't much pain with brain surgery - the scalp is all. I just want it all to be over with.

Monday and no surgery...

Just got back from Dr. O'Grady's. He's the surgeon. He is very surprised that I am conscious and that I have no head pain!!! God works in wondrous ways!
The surgery will be more complicated, so it won't be today.. There are four cancers - one on top of my head that he won't touch (they'll radiate it later.) Three in back towards the cerebellum. He thinks that they are all three connected. A problem is the cyst - fluid sac that is the central one. That is the one that's supposed to be causing all the pain. It is also on my cranium - bone. But none of us can see anything - I made them look!!!

He said I could end up fine - I could end up paralyzed - and if we did NOTHING, I wouldn't make it at all. It has to come out.

Dr. Rege said No radiation until it's all over and done with. I've been working on my right arm and trying to getting it working. It's still being a baby, though. I am also babying my left hip since last week since it's been hurting like my arm did before it broke.

test results today

i just started working on right hand writing. Have sat all day on living room couch. happy. Got a call - cancer is in my brain. Cerebelllum. They think I have headache. Nope. It just likes to travel, I guess. I may have surgery on Monday.... Because there is fluid in the tumor, it's not a good candidate for radiation. But, Imagine half a head of curly hair. I will be able to walk better. No more crashing into you or the steps. Imagine I'll be able to think. ..... I'll get better grades on my BYU classes online!

Kyle's home -

brain scan

Just got back from a brain scan - mri. It was LOUD. They held up my arm really well, but I break out into a cold sweat just getting to the bathroom and back. I'm sure I drenched their bed. My port is getting a good workout. They put the contrast in it tonight.
Mom Harward was gracious enough to go with me. Max had made dinner = and salsa, too.

I'm all snuggled in bed. just talked with Mom Rickords. Everyone is sick! Wish we were all better.

dronings...

i can hear a droning in my ears again. i used to get it with chemo but it went away until last week. haven't broken anything new all week. yea!!!

i can tell you what love is, tho:
love is having a sponge bath, helps up to the bathroom, shaving your legs. It's having your husband kissing you wildly every day cuz you're alive - one more time!

on and on and on....

this will be done one-handed for a while. Cancer docs warned that the bone spots that hurt might break due to the cancer. Last Saturday I lifted a blanket and it broke my arm!!!! The gory scene from Harry Potter don't explain it well enough to be "missing" a limb! Twice they had to put my arm in front of me so I could see it. I screamed buckets of tears and scared all awake. The ambulance folks tried to give me fentanyl and it still hurt terribly. After I was taken to KGH, I still couldn't calm down. They put me out and set it.
I was in a room straight out of WW11. Later when they put a rod in it (Mon.) I was in a newer room. Fimally got home and on reg medicatioms. Felt rather low yesterday but Mom & DAD have pulled me through!!
We watched 'Helllo Dolly' today and "Yours, Mine & Ours" for movie-night. Talked with Karen about her cancer-gone-to-the-bones. It really helped me out a LOT. Talking with Terre & Priscilla & Tifiny & Mom helped, too. Thank you.

I decided tonight (after a shower!) that our chances in life of staying alive are "x" (an unknown) and that having cancer and life must make my chance of being alive "2x" I'm just living on the dangerous side!

And just so you know it....dying doesn't make you a poet!!!!!! Tried and tried ALL night long to get words to rhyme so they could be read at my funeral..... no such luck! But, Lucky YOU!

bathing beauties!

I copied this from my genealogy post today:


Yea! Hurray! It's only taken 3 days, but inbetween doctors and surgical procedures, I have managed to find the same three photos that hang in my bathroom. I wanted to share them with you. They are so utterly fantastic! Imagine these three women being photographed back in the day when scandalous photos as these just WEREN'T shown. They had to have been strong women. Women who were role models to me. Women to whom I still revere and look up to as I hang on with this cancer. If they could do something so everyday strong as this. I can keep hanging on, too.

Here's my Grandma Helen Anna Sanders Madsen (Mom's mom who with Grandpa, raised 8 children during the depression) - she's in the front & right in this photo at Utah's Great Salt Lake:



This one is my dad's step-mother's mother: Nellie Arnett Cheesbrough. She was a Wyoming school teacher from a wealthy family in Illinois. She married John Cheesbrough and created a cultured haven out in there in the wilderness! This photo must have been taken at one of the Great Lakes


My husband's family wasn't exempt! Here's his great grandma Jennie Eliza Jane Calkins Rickords at Soap Lake, Washington


Hope you love them as well as I do!

Flowers!

Yesterday Mike McDonald came by with flowers for me from KONA 610 radio! I feel so privileged!!! Thank you Lois for nominating me! I have flowers from Cleta and cards from Karen and Lorna and Mike. Each of them helps! Phone calls from relatives and Facebook luvs from everyone!

I've been on the phone today with doctors offices.... not sure with whom I have appointments and who's coordinating all this. Guess that's me. Heather's kitty is helping out tremendously - says I need a bath. I need a port put in... I need an MRI on my head, a PET scan....

home sweet home

I'm finally home. Nauseous, but home. Dr Fewell saw the MRI's and knew he'd be out of town this weekend, so he talked with dr. O'Grady. He saw me right away. Said we had to do surgery right then. So, surgery was done - back of my tailbone removed. Released the nerves. Said if he'd left them any much longer and they would have been paralyzed. While he was there, he saw the mass of tumor through the nerves. He got most of it out. It's only from one spot, but it's one spot less that the chemo and radiation will have to get to.

I'm pretty sore now, though. At the hospital I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what a mess I was in. And then it came..... at least I didn't feel like this AND had a squirming newborn to add to it! Wo to women everywhere who go through this kinda pain and then have to care for a child, too.....

Doctors

Saw Dr Klarnet this afternoon. He rushed everything. He apologized for the earlier doctors missing it. It's breast cancer gone all over - I gave blood and also got to see the radiation doc right then. She will send me for surgery this weekend depending on the three scans they're doing tonight. I get my port put back in next week. After that, I will do 3 weeks of radiation and then start chemo... Radiation doc said that they were all talking about me. I told them that I needed the attention....