LisaBesa

2010-04-22T23:28:00.000-07:00

Funeral at 11:00 on Saturday, Viewing at 10:00 at the LDS chapel on Buntin
Street.

2010-04-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

Lisa passed away this morning. More information to follow for the funeral probably on Saturday.

Max

ta da only 2 weeks to get here

2010-03-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

renee has cavored my ceiling with flowers!!!! we love them!!!!

Out of the House Weekend

2010-03-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

Been trying to get the pain and nausea balanced. No fun to have to barf in the bucket. Spent the weekend at the Hospice house to try to get this all stabilized so I don't feel the pain and avoid the nausea. Will be home Monday(tomorrow) with the new routine on the medications.

Part of the house was painted while I was gone. Thank you to all those that helped.

back in the loop again

2010-03-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

lisa: most days i know which day it is. today is thursday. heather came home and surprised us. she will be here for a few days. i'm feeling really well.

heather: mom is pretty confused sometimes. but she's still here and usually has an idea of what's going on. she's tired and unsteady but still walking around. she says some pretty funny things. makes us all laugh and keeps things light. she's so wonderful about all of this and is hanging in there so well.

2010-02-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

Lisa is in the hospital again. She has not been managing her blood sugars properly. She is recovering well and should come home soon. We will be giving her lots of help with her medicine and blood sugar management.

Yesterday

2010-02-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

We had fun with the kids Tifiny and Priscilla brought - (just five of them, the rest had to stay back :( home, They got to stay from Friday til Sunday and we loved them to pieces!!!!!!!
Priscilla and Tifinys quite the clever cook! Her food is sooooo.
We have talked with Dr, Klarenet's office and asked for the various reports, they are also goihng to talk with Dr. Rado's office and get me into a better situation. It will take several more days.

In the meantime, I keep crash-landing on everything in the bathroom, Ouch!

Doin normal

2010-02-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

so, I'm doing just the normal things...... Eating lasagne from Costco (told Dad we HAD to stop there after the coumadin clinic...) we got us some main dishes for the rest of the week.... Susan and dtr came by - looked good enough for them - not sure what that may be but I'm not anything but tired...... Dawn made a wonderful comment on my last blog. It's had me laughing for quite a while!!! Thank you!!!!!

Dr Klarnet

2010-02-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

The doctor has turned this case over. It'a too big for him. My vital signs yesterday were too much -bp 77/55. So, I'll just have to show him - I'll make it past these next few months!!!!! I'll carry on through the 23rd Psalm (This is what's gotten me past the last two months!!!!) I'll finish the last two lessons in my New Testament class!!! Just see! AND PLEASE JUST CHEERY NOTES!!!

Chemo

2010-02-02T17:31:00.000-08:00

Today I had chemo at the hospital. They take reallly good care of us there... It was even sunshiny at times today. Hurray! Sure been a sleepy head. Ready for Ground Hog's Day movie - one of my favorites!!!!!

today's schedule

2010-02-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

sssssshhhh. I'm going to get a blood draw, see the doctor and go to the coumedon clinic. nothing else... see if we can pull it off without spending the night at the hospital!!!!!

extra caution

2010-01-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

I went to the hospital with Mom to get blood work and a "stAt" ct scan. We made sure it was just an hour.......... AT the exact hour, we got up to leave and the doctor cornered us and said we had to be admitted to Er = I have blood clots and have to stay here in the hospital a few more days..........

Lumbar puncture at Hospital

2010-01-27T11:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, Mom and I walked in for a lumbar puncture test on Monday, Figured it would be about an hour.... ended up laughing at each other because it was a 7-hour test!
After getting "hydrated" on the IV, there was the TEST and then we had to wait 4 hours while they oberserved me and had me eat dinner. We had to laugh at each other because we weren't sure what else to do! Then I had to spend yesterday all day in bed observing the rules ...... so amazing! No chemo - I'll find out about that today at my doctor appointment.

So next time, find out what's involved with your tests BEFORE HAND!!!!!

Sick anyway

2010-01-24T17:13:00.000-08:00

So, I got sick anyway.....I can move around a bit for about 15 seconds, then my ears start pulsing and I crash while I wait for it to end. The anti-nausea meds help some... but can't do much else but watch the world spin. I need help getting around.

POOR Kyle, he's been asking for an ice cream cone for days and then he dr0pped the package and broke them all! So sad.

Readiing

2010-01-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

I finished the book "The Undaunted" last week. I can't believe they really did all of that excavating. I guess I would have been one of the "less Chosen" ones rather than go through all of that!

I got a call tonight - they want to do a lumbar something or other next Monday. I think they're just wanting to try out every new fangled test that comes along.

My family is getting sick by degrees. First Jacob, then Taija, then Dad now Max - all throwing up for a day. We've been laundering and washing door knobs and light switches..... I hope I don't get it, too..

Chemo tomorrow

2010-01-18T17:20:00.000-08:00

Took the blood test today, things went great. The other tests all came back okay. - The ultrasound and MRI... I get chemo on Tuesday at noon. I take a little less of the steroids... more of the intestine meds...

Feelin groovy.........

2010-01-17T20:42:00.000-08:00

I didn't make it to church today - upset stomach - but I've felt pretty well since Lunch time! I even finished a BYU lesson - only 5 more to go on this class.

I have to give blood tomorrow and see the doctor and see what the results of my two tests are(ultrasound and MRI).

Once some good news....

2010-01-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

I was going to share with you some very good news. My brain MRI came back with excellent results - all the doctors were very impressed that the tumors there are SHRINKING! Yea!!! Monday Dr. O'Grady told me how unexpected the results were.

Then Monday night I ended up in the hospital because I'd been throwing up for 2 1/2 days and I was dehydrating. I spent the evening/day in the hospital getting rehydrated .... I felt tremendously better that night and early Tuesday morning. The next day, I was supposed to have a Dr. Klarnet (cancer center) appointment and more chemo, but, the soonest I could get out of Kadlec was 11:30 a.m. We got home and back to the cancer center appointment. Dr. Klarnet had a boatload of questions for us that we had absolutely no answers.

We determined from the blood work that I was nauseated again because I need to return to my steroids full-time. Also, my blood platelets levels were skyrocketing - another indication that I need to be back on the steroids. It shows that my body is under a lot of stress. I stayed there at the cancer center getting rehydrated AGAIN and getting more steroids and anti-nausea drugs. They are going to do three tests this week - PET scan, brain MRI and an ultra-sound to see if it's a gall-bladder problem. He said that he's going to start at square one and determine what is going on with my cancer.... and there will be no more chemo until we find out what's going on, either.

So, once there was some good news... maybe there will be more later.....

A big thank you for those who brought us dinner tonight. We certainly needed it and it was delicious!

Finally got treatment...

2010-01-06T14:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I got my chemo treatment. We had to go to Kadlec due to our insurance situation. It actually worked out very well! I was put in a room with a bed for me (!!) and the nice cozy chair was for Mom. And they insisted that I order a meal since it was all part of the room coverage. Answering their myriad of questions was tiring, but other than that, we're looking forward to next week!

No steroids this time (no extra energy) and no Abraxane... I wish the steroids would leave (so I wouldn't look so fat).... they just keep hanging out in my cheeks...... I went to the dentist today since a side-effect of the zometa (bone strengthener) is degenerating jaw bones... They took some x-rays and said that the aches weren't due to the zometa - I'm so glad! But, they'll have this x-ray to serve as a baseline in case at some point in the future there is a problem.

Treatment is tomorrow

2010-01-04T16:21:00.000-08:00

Changed insurance as of the first of the year. This complicated things as far as chemo is concerned. I got my lab work done and visited with the nurse practitioner, but I'll be getting chemo at Kadlec for the next several times. Starting with tomorrow. We got home after only being gone 3 hours! The nurse I got today told me as much or more than the one last week. She said that after going through radiation, it is expected that the scan on my brain shows larger tumors. She said that's why they wait at least 6 weeks before doing an MRI for the swelling to go down. So, drum roll........ my tumors are responding wonderfully to the chemo drugs; they've gone down in size. That's good news for me! So glad that Mom (and Dad) are here to get me everywhere and remember to ask all the good questions.

A few side effects - my fingers are tingly and numb.... my tongue tastes everything strange... My scalp is still really sore (and hanging onto those few whispy locks)...My appetite is way down - I only get a few nibbles down before I'm stufffed...

And, more good news. Saturday I tripped and crashed head-first into the bedroom wall (no, that's not the good news.......) Then I landed on my behind. And know what? I didn't break apart. My worst fear and I survived!!!!! I'm in one piece! Hurray!

Since then

2009-12-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

Today - the day after chemo & the steroids - I have enough energy to be up BEFORE 9am and help Kyle pick up some toys and check my e-mail! Imagine! I've been Rip Van Winkle for the past week or so. I also had to have Neuprogena (sp?) shots 3 days last because my white blood cell counts were low. They weren't sure I'd get a treatment this week. But I did and I was glad to get one more treatment down.

The nurse practitioner Mitre saw me yesterday before my treatment. This woman KNEW more or at least SHARED more than everyone else we've seen combined! She gave me an antibiotic and nose spray for my ear/nose infection. She told me that the fact the tumors in the brain or bone and "grown" was not all bad. She said that they would look worse for a few months and then finally show what all the treatments had produced. She said that the one chemo drug Avastin crosses over into the brain and would work on those cancers. The Abraxane would work elsewhere in my bones. I'm so glad that I got to see her and find out all that...

Last night Max took me in for an MRI. I asked the fellow (who'se seen me for the last 3 MRI's) if the different loud sounds made up a pattern. He said, "yes". The different MRI sounds make different pictures. So now we know why we're all but deafened by those noises, Yes?? Hmmmmmm.

We were very fortunate last night to have Lorna bring us dinner. The Relief Society gave us a menu and insisted we use it one day each week for a while. Since we were getting chemo until after 5pm, that meal was a true blessing! We were also blessed to have Kamiakin HS bring us our Christmas meal - they were very very generous in their gifts to us as well! And while we were at Max's relatives home, some sneaky person left Christmas packages for us on our porch.... as did the school up in Richland - I am just overwhelmed! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We have been so blessed throughout all this.

New Skills.....

2009-12-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a fun visit with Terre, Tracy and Donna! They brought over the softest, fluffiest bath robe on this planet earth! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! And the gummy worms were wonderful, too!

Last night while going through some e-mails, I came across one that was absolutely wonderful. Our church's Relief Society organization put out a call to each of us ladies wanting to know just exactly what skills we are wanting to learn. How can they be of assistance in our lives???? Here is what I replied:

Dear ladies of the Relief Society,

after I got your last e-mail about the skills we'd like to learn, I had me a great think. After pondering for some time, I decided that these are the things that I would like to know how to accomplish:

1. Boeing just came out with a 787... I'd like to know how to fly it.
2. I'd like to learn how to drive one of those oily asphalt rollers.
3. I'd like to learn to orchesterate the music and lights to one of Senske's fancy houses.
4. I really want to know how to produce and manufacture my own insulin
5. Mom says I should learn how to Cure cancer.
6. I'd like to dispose of 2 dogs and 20 cartons of magazines without my hubby noticing.

If you could arrange to teach me these skills, I would greatly appreciate it!
tHANKS !!!!!
lISA

Feelin a breeze.....

2009-12-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I had chemo yesterday. They gave me Avastin (clear) and Abraxane (milky colored) as well as Zometa for my bones.... The bag of steroids I got kept me awake most of the night and gave me energy today. I even took a photo of me. Without my hat! AaAAAAAAaaaaagh. It's a rather nasty, revealing photo of my condition, but I thought I'd show you what the steroids and radiation have accomplished. Now you can go tell your kiddies to never, never. never get cancer!!!! Though I didn't look this way last time, I was bald..... and I normally have a hat on so that I'm less scary.

Sunday

2009-12-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty pleased with myself - got to part of church today! I was too exhausted to stay for all of it. Had a great talk with Karen who has gone through a lot of what I have and has taught me tons about life! And I think I've worked myself all up over the chemo tomorrow..... keep "tossin the cookies" as one person says.

Faye brought me flowers and Roseann brought me over a warm cancer hat yesterday - so nice! Thank you!!! Thought I'd share some details with you: ever since that first surgery, I get to run to the water closet every two hours. without fail. But to get up off the bed or couch, I have to position my right arm and brace it for the inevitable shock of pain that comes when I swing my legs up and over, up and over and then use my left hand to manipulate me up... so my left hip - which is particularly weak - can come to a stand. At this point in time, nobody had better stand in my way - I hobble along imagining what it must feel like to be the giant slug, Jabba, from Star Wars fame! (And since the steroids have done their thing, I'm nice and plump to boot!)

No. I've a better analogy: with this warm cancer hat I look like a Smurf! Really! It's great.

Hold to the rod.....

2009-12-11T18:39:00.000-08:00

The rod in my arm is sore, sore sore - with this cold snap we have here in Kennewick! Hopefully it will warm up this weekend.....

Dr Klarnet, my oncology doctor said we're starting chemo on Monday. He's not wanting me to go for the brain tumors just yet. The doctors will have to talk together about this. I'm just along for the ride, it would seem.

We're really blessed, I know I've had a few cries over this, but people have been so incredibly generous! We got a delightful bright red bag yesterday - thank you to this anonymous person(s). And the fruit basket from the ward and their singing was super! Thank you!!!!!!!

MRI NEWS

2009-12-09T12:08:00.001-08:00

I told Mom today that I haven't had a single bit of good news from any of my MRI's so far.... Well. to continue in that tradition.... Sunday's MRIs showed that the cancers in my head have grown. The neurosurgeon was very surprised to learn that I have already FINISHED my radiation. He wants a more aggressive treatment plan and is going to talk with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) He did say that the radiation I've gotten probably killed off a lot of "baby" cancers that can't be seen.

Actually, his office just called and they've scheduled another brain MRI for next week and an appointment to see him. Is he thinking more surgery? ?????

The other cancer in my hips and sacral area - still there. So I had me a little cry on the way out the door. Oh, he told me to load up on B vitamins and get out and get some exercise. No more sleeping 18-20 hours per day. And the shaking? He says it's coming off the steroids and all the trauma my body has been through in the past many weeks.

balding

2009-12-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

My hair is rapidly disappearing. Each brushful has me wondering it it's my last.....
I've also been so exhausted since Thurday that I have done nothing but sleep and sleep and sleep! My sister and her husband came up Friday and stayed until today. I am so lucky that they came!!! What fun they are!

This weeek we have three doctor appointments. One for my arm, one for the MRI's done on my head and sacrum and the next day to plan my chemo treatments.

Finished radiation!

2009-12-02T21:29:00.000-08:00

Today I finished my radiation treatments - have a certificate to prove it! They also sent me home with my lovely white-plastic mesh mask. Each day it was placed over my head and screwed to the table below me. Can't imagine what I'll do with it - wear it for Halloween next year maybe??? They gave me one less treatment on my pelvic area. Better for my bowels, they said.

So, I have the MRI Sunday, arm dr. appointment Tuesday, Surgeon appointment for reviewing the MRI on Wednesday and chemo doctor on Thursday. In talking with the chemo people today, they aren't starting my next rounds until after Christmas - on the 30th. I'd like to get it over with, but I guess they're thinking to spare me the side effects for now....... can't imagine why else...

Anyway, Mom and Dad helped me celebrate my finishing radiation by treating me to Panda Express! It's funny, cuz I asked her to get me some egg rolls from the freezer for lunch.... and she had a bag from Panda Express instead! It was marvelous!

Stray thoughts...

2009-12-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

I've had this thought the past few days. In August, Max's brother and family came up to visit Washington. We all went out bowling. Bowling, mind you... including me. I picked up the ball and tossed it down the lane. Didn't hit too many, but I was playing......

Okay, switch that thought to October 10th or so - when I picked up a blanket and broke my arm. I'm just amazed that the cancer was so aggressive! Hmmmmmmmm.... What kind of fluke was it?

I have one radiation appointment left: tomorrow. Did my last Taxol chemo today. I won't have any more chemo treatments until after next week when I talk to the doctor about a new drug: Abraxaine. It's similar to the Taxol but designed for metastisis.

This Sunday I am going to get MRI's of my head and tailbone. I am eager to see what the cancers have done. Hopefully, they will all be gone! I've gone through enough steroid treatments to shrink anything to the size of raisins! Everytime I get headaches or complain of anything, that's what they give me. I am so swollen in the face that I have stretch marks on my cheeks. (And my radiation mask squishes me all up!!!) Can't wait to FINALLY finish with them.... (I'm down to 1/2 tablet twice a day.)

My sister and her husband are coming up to visit this weekend. I can't wait to see them!

Side Effects....

2009-11-29T12:56:00.000-08:00

Started losing some hair yesterday. Sad day. ALso,GI effects taking place, too. I couldn't get to church as a result. Having family here is a blessing for me. They are such a great support!

Chemo and Radiation... and Thanksgiving!

2009-11-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

Just finished radiation #6 and chemo #2 (Taxol). The chemo doesn't seem to bother me so much as the stuff I took last year. I AM GLAD!! It is sunshiny outside, too. What more could I ask for? McDonald's and a chocolate shake? Got that, too! Yum.

I am thankful for my parents who've come up to take care of me every day... And For my family. I know that they're most important!!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

I am a sleepy girl....

2009-11-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

I've been taking the anti-nausea medications. THey make me really sleepy. I'd rather sleep right now than be nauseated, though. It's a combination of the radiation on my head and the chemo that I started on Tuesday or WEdnesday. I'm not sure when right now.... sigh......

We went to Kyle's school on Thursday (that day is right) to see his Life SKills classroom and Mrs. C He was absolutely thrilled to be there and everyone was glad to see him, too! I'm glad we went:) We also took my Daddy out to dinner that night at the Great Wall Chinese Buffet. I was in heaven with all the yummy food and everyone else had a great time, too. It's fun to see Kyle pile up the crab legs and fish and delicacies that we don't have around home.

Mom and I went to a luncheon today - a potluck - my favorite! But, I ate too much and we had to leave a bit early. I finished reading Dan Brown's newest book "The Lost Symbol." The author doesn't know how to end a book... he kept on going and going and going trying to redeem himself from revealing so much about the Masons, I suppose. Anyway, I was glad to have something to read for a change. It's the first novel I've read this Fall. Now I need something new.... any ideas?

My mother=in-law and sister-in-law are coming tomorrow to sit with me while Mom goes to Church. What a sweet idea! I went to Sacrament Meeting last week, then came home to rest. THis time I'll be at home with my stomach doing its thing. Oh, wait, I forgot. I've been keeping up a mantra: I feel great, I feel fine. I feel great, I feel fine....

Scary Photos - view with caution!!!!!

2009-11-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

Got my cables together and uploaded my photos.....

So, one of these is my head from 2 1/2 weeks ago... can you guess which?

I did chemo today - they can give Taxol while at the same time doing radiation, so I did that, along with a cocktail of benadryl, aluxi (sp?- a powerful anti-nausea), steroids (I am definitely bloated and looking like the good-year blimp lately!) and zanax. I also got zometa - bone juice. It took from 9:30am until 2:30 to do that. I had to "do labs" - give blood; visit with the doctor and then two hours of chemo. I didn't get radiation in today because their machines weren't working. I'm kinda glad, cuz I was so worn out after being on the other side of the building all day.

Back when I broke my arm and they put the rod down inside it at KGH:

Arm full of plastic iv stuff ready for brain surgery.....

There are more photos, but now the internet won't let me upload them.... these Really are scary photos!!!

New Tattoos

2009-11-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Went to two doctor appointments today. I start chemo next week in addition to the radiation. I had the forms made today for next week's radiation - a mesh mask for my head and they added tattoos to my right arm and pelvis for those areas. I guess I'll be beautifully covered with dots (got tattoos for the breast area when they did it last year). Larry and Kurt - the radiation guys - same as last time sent me through the CT scan a few times and had me all marked up. Guess I'm ready!

Went to Albertsons today - got to ride around in their little electric cart and get some of their specials. That's two places I've been now that weren't doctor's offices! Yippee!

Radiation on Monday

2009-11-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

Went to Dr Rege today. She is anxious to get started on radiation. Dr Klarnet's anxious to start chemo - they're wanting to do both at the same time, but Dr Rege said she's not ever done radiation on the brain while the patient was receiving chemo. She wants me to check and make sure tomorrow when I go to Dr Klarnet's office. I have re-read Rochell's blog from last year when she found out the cancer had gone to her brain. The similarities are remarkable. Being on steroids, taking zometa...

Mom and I were right on when it came to knowing they should do the MRI on my left hip. Turns out there's cancer in both hips as well as the sacrum and arm and brain. So, they will radiate all those places. I shed a few tears. Mom, too. After the radiation I may get a second opinion from UW. Just so we know what's out there. That's what Dr. Rege suggested.

I had Max get some bath mats for the tub so I won't slip. I'm paranoid now about falling and breaking a hip. My hip has felt just like my arm did before it broke. Mom and I were laughing tonight and decided that I need a "lift chair" hung from the ceiling that swings me through the house!

Yesterday, Mom and I went to the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meeting. I give the lessons once a month. I missed last month as I was having the rod put in my arm, but I realized that as I entered the church it was the first non-medical place (besides home) that I've been in over 7 weeks! They gave me a lovely framed certificate for being their lesson leader, too. I think I'm spoiled!

Unexpected Sampler Program

2009-11-09T14:19:00.000-08:00

I joyfully announce that the STAPLES are GONE! My head is FREE! There is still some pressure going on, but the doctor said it's a delayed response - my brain saying, "hey, sometime ago there was this tumor pressing around in here...." I even took some pain medication a minute ago, so I might feel better yet!

There was a full-page ad in the Sunday paper about Kadlec's neurosurgeons yesterday. It shows some doctors in full regalia. Says they can do anything from back surgery to brain surgery..... I figure that since I participated in an "Unexpected Sampler Program," I am qualified to comment on it:

Yes! The surgeons are very good and especially competent! Dr. Brian O'Grady and assistants did a phenomenal job. However, due to the pain involved, I regretfully do not recommend the back surgery, insertion of chemo port, broken arm and brain surgery all in the same month! (Or, as Marcia asked me last week, "Do you feel like someone took a bat to you?")

If you add a week's time, you can add these procedures:
5 MRI's, a bone scan, a pet scan, a CT scan and several x-rays.

Oh, and we asked about the extra staples on the left side of my head - he said that it was when my head was fastened in a vice and I moved and it got cut, so they put some staples there. I saved the staples, by the way. Though I felt like a Zulu warrior with rings up my neck, They're not as large as I had imagined. The ones in my back were much bigger.

Bowling Ball Head...

2009-11-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since my last surgery. I feel like I'm carrying around a bowling ball for my head. It is frequently swollen. Well, it FEELS swollen and lumpy. I've written in my journal a few times that: My other head doesn't hurt! Surely there is another head up there.

Dr. O'Grady already told us he'd leave the one cancer there to be radiated, another "satellite" piece ended up getting left as well, as it wasn't wise to go up that high. He said that a part of the bone was eaten away by the cancer and that there was a cyst that drained completely when removed.

I came to in the recovery room with a large turban on my head. It pinched my head very tight. He came and cut that off Saturday morning. That pain is gone. I just have to try to position my head so it doesn't rest against the 22 staples (23 if you count the one way out in left field!) I was pretty nauseated after the surgery and they kept trying to get morphine down me, but I was throwing it all up. Then I had to have a CT scan done of my head - they schedule these in the middle of the night!! I threw up some more for them. I love the bags they have - I made sure I always carried one around.

Then, I thought to tell them that when I was going through chemo, I was prescribed phenergren and kytril. They used the first drug quite a lot for me in the next couple days and the nausea went away. But, they also kept trying to get morphine down me. yuck. The oxycodone thing helped more than anything else.

The ICU was really noisy. They have the nurses' stations right outside your door with all the delivery and doctors and etc. And machines... beeep beeeeeeep beeeeep. I was so glad to get home! But, the nurse didn't want to release me straight from ICU, even though the doctor ordered it. She had several concerns she had to check with him on - more nausea, high blood pressure. In the end, she had to let me go! aha! free woman!

I am just a bit blue wishing that some part of me worked really well - something I could show off: I can wave my left hand! "hi" Can't waggle my right one very well, though I keep on trying - need some physical therapy on it. My left hip is getting an MRI on Saturday - to see if it needs radiation therapy. With so many doctor's fingers in the pie, they've all pointed at each other on this one, but Mom and I are adamant: take a look! So Dr. Klarnet (with whom I did have an appointment on Tues.) prescribed it.

Max is getting good at showering me and shaving my legs! ha ha ha I appreciate his help. And daddy massaged my legs and shoulder the other day. Mama keeps the Essiac tea going....

I just can't believe the generosity of those who bring us meals and wishes. Thank you so very very much!

Home again

2009-10-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

The surgery went well. They removed 2 of the cancer tumors. Will get the other 2 with radiation. Had a new hairstyle for a few days, the white gauze look. I am up and moving around, and I am at home!

i'm up

2009-10-27T16:59:00.000-07:00

Got back a few hours ago from the pre-op stuff for Thursday. That will be my new surgery date. I had to have some blood work done and sign papers and talk with the nurses and anesthesiologist. He showed me pictures of my brain. It sounds like they do a lot of my surgeries there and I will be in ICU for a day or so.

I almost cried when he asked if I had pain on my left side. I DO. It's my hip and I'm afraid that I'll break it like I did my right arm. He said that the cancer pressing on the brain is causing the pain. mmmmm, that rhymes.

They will definitely be cutting off my hair in back. Well. It's done its part, I guess. He hopes they won't get air into the brain, so they will have me facing down and forward some to prevent that. My broken arm will be up against my side. Supposedly there isn't much pain with brain surgery - the scalp is all. I just want it all to be over with.

Monday and no surgery...

2009-10-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Dr. O'Grady's. He's the surgeon. He is very surprised that I am conscious and that I have no head pain!!! God works in wondrous ways!
The surgery will be more complicated, so it won't be today.. There are four cancers - one on top of my head that he won't touch (they'll radiate it later.) Three in back towards the cerebellum. He thinks that they are all three connected. A problem is the cyst - fluid sac that is the central one. That is the one that's supposed to be causing all the pain. It is also on my cranium - bone. But none of us can see anything - I made them look!!!

He said I could end up fine - I could end up paralyzed - and if we did NOTHING, I wouldn't make it at all. It has to come out.

Dr. Rege said No radiation until it's all over and done with. I've been working on my right arm and trying to getting it working. It's still being a baby, though. I am also babying my left hip since last week since it's been hurting like my arm did before it broke.

test results today

2009-10-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

i just started working on right hand writing. Have sat all day on living room couch. happy. Got a call - cancer is in my brain. Cerebelllum. They think I have headache. Nope. It just likes to travel, I guess. I may have surgery on Monday.... Because there is fluid in the tumor, it's not a good candidate for radiation. But, Imagine half a head of curly hair. I will be able to walk better. No more crashing into you or the steps. Imagine I'll be able to think. ..... I'll get better grades on my BYU classes online!

Kyle's home -

brain scan

2009-10-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a brain scan - mri. It was LOUD. They held up my arm really well, but I break out into a cold sweat just getting to the bathroom and back. I'm sure I drenched their bed. My port is getting a good workout. They put the contrast in it tonight.
Mom Harward was gracious enough to go with me. Max had made dinner = and salsa, too.

I'm all snuggled in bed. just talked with Mom Rickords. Everyone is sick! Wish we were all better.

dronings...

2009-10-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

i can hear a droning in my ears again. i used to get it with chemo but it went away until last week. haven't broken anything new all week. yea!!!

i can tell you what love is, tho:
love is having a sponge bath, helps up to the bathroom, shaving your legs. It's having your husband kissing you wildly every day cuz you're alive - one more time!

on and on and on....

2009-10-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

this will be done one-handed for a while. Cancer docs warned that the bone spots that hurt might break due to the cancer. Last Saturday I lifted a blanket and it broke my arm!!!! The gory scene from Harry Potter don't explain it well enough to be "missing" a limb! Twice they had to put my arm in front of me so I could see it. I screamed buckets of tears and scared all awake. The ambulance folks tried to give me fentanyl and it still hurt terribly. After I was taken to KGH, I still couldn't calm down. They put me out and set it.
I was in a room straight out of WW11. Later when they put a rod in it (Mon.) I was in a newer room. Fimally got home and on reg medicatioms. Felt rather low yesterday but Mom & DAD have pulled me through!!
We watched 'Helllo Dolly' today and "Yours, Mine & Ours" for movie-night. Talked with Karen about her cancer-gone-to-the-bones. It really helped me out a LOT. Talking with Terre & Priscilla & Tifiny & Mom helped, too. Thank you.

I decided tonight (after a shower!) that our chances in life of staying alive are "x" (an unknown) and that having cancer and life must make my chance of being alive "2x" I'm just living on the dangerous side!

And just so you know it....dying doesn't make you a poet!!!!!! Tried and tried ALL night long to get words to rhyme so they could be read at my funeral..... no such luck! But, Lucky YOU!

bathing beauties!

2009-10-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

I copied this from my genealogy post today:

Yea! Hurray! It's only taken 3 days, but inbetween doctors and surgical procedures, I have managed to find the same three photos that hang in my bathroom. I wanted to share them with you. They are so utterly fantastic! Imagine these three women being photographed back in the day when scandalous photos as these just WEREN'T shown. They had to have been strong women. Women who were role models to me. Women to whom I still revere and look up to as I hang on with this cancer. If they could do something so everyday strong as this. I can keep hanging on, too.

Here's my Grandma Helen Anna Sanders Madsen (Mom's mom who with Grandpa, raised 8 children during the depression) - she's in the front & right in this photo at Utah's Great Salt Lake:

This one is my dad's step-mother's mother: Nellie Arnett Cheesbrough. She was a Wyoming school teacher from a wealthy family in Illinois. She married John Cheesbrough and created a cultured haven out in there in the wilderness! This photo must have been taken at one of the Great Lakes

My husband's family wasn't exempt! Here's his great grandma Jennie Eliza Jane Calkins Rickords at Soap Lake, Washington

Hope you love them as well as I do!

Flowers!

2009-10-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Mike McDonald came by with flowers for me from KONA 610 radio! I feel so privileged!!! Thank you Lois for nominating me! I have flowers from Cleta and cards from Karen and Lorna and Mike. Each of them helps! Phone calls from relatives and Facebook luvs from everyone!

I've been on the phone today with doctors offices.... not sure with whom I have appointments and who's coordinating all this. Guess that's me. Heather's kitty is helping out tremendously - says I need a bath. I need a port put in... I need an MRI on my head, a PET scan....

home sweet home

2009-10-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

I'm finally home. Nauseous, but home. Dr Fewell saw the MRI's and knew he'd be out of town this weekend, so he talked with dr. O'Grady. He saw me right away. Said we had to do surgery right then. So, surgery was done - back of my tailbone removed. Released the nerves. Said if he'd left them any much longer and they would have been paralyzed. While he was there, he saw the mass of tumor through the nerves. He got most of it out. It's only from one spot, but it's one spot less that the chemo and radiation will have to get to.

I'm pretty sore now, though. At the hospital I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what a mess I was in. And then it came..... at least I didn't feel like this AND had a squirming newborn to add to it! Wo to women everywhere who go through this kinda pain and then have to care for a child, too.....

Doctors

2009-10-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

Saw Dr Klarnet this afternoon. He rushed everything. He apologized for the earlier doctors missing it. It's breast cancer gone all over - I gave blood and also got to see the radiation doc right then. She will send me for surgery this weekend depending on the three scans they're doing tonight. I get my port put back in next week. After that, I will do 3 weeks of radiation and then start chemo... Radiation doc said that they were all talking about me. I told them that I needed the attention....

Youngest...

2009-09-30T09:14:00.001-07:00

Our youngest is really acting up. He does things to purposely upset us. He told us he would be sick until Saturday. We had to keep him off the tv and his bicycle yesterday - repeatedly. Then, we told him he'd be at school today regardless of his being "sick" or not. We couldn't find anything for him to be sick about. Maybe it's me that he's worried about.... I've talked to him a number of times "Mommy is sick. That's upsetting to a lot of people...." We'll see.

Mom and Dad are here...

2009-09-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

My mom and dad are here to help out. And boy, do they EVER help!!!!!!! I would rely on hubby's family, but Mom R went and had complications of diabetes and then broke three of her toes when she passed out the other day.... you get the picture. There's a race going to see which of us is the most helpless!

If my back would just cooperate, I'd be the picture of health. I can't believe the diagnosis. In fact, I had the nurse send me a printout of my record. They're talking about me all right: 49 year old woman... previous breast cancer... found in the tailbone... It says, in 5 pages, that I have cancer all up and down.

I checked and last year i had 4 MRI's or CT scans - all showing I had "healthy bones" healthy lungs, etc. Karen told me that even tho her cancer came back into the bones, her cancer markers show she is cancer-free! I guess I fall into that category. We'll get more information come Friday.

Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for thinking of me and sending me the message of hope! Day 4

Again

2009-09-24T22:25:00.001-07:00

I was just about to change my post and remove the parts about cancer. Then it happened again. No one had greasy fingers, bubblegum on their chair or needed the MRI to blow their nose. No. It's cancer. There is a tumor on my tailbone. One on my collar bone (now that one makes me grouchy - I asked about it several times last year and was reassured by doctors.....)

I told the kids that they could talk with me about it whenever... I think it's unbelievable, sad and funny. T about died when I told her the funny part. What's funny about it? Well..... I've always wanted to know what was inside J's brain... why he acts the way he does. Now I'll finally get my chance to find out!

Really, though, I'll just surprise everyone! I might hang around here longer than anyone else..

(p.s. Just to show you how goofy this medication makes me.... the lady doing the bone scan asked me when and where I had the MRI done. And I didn't know. I thought about it for over an hour and finally remembered I had it done in Richland a few days beforehand and a guy was the technician. And I left my insulin pump on - oooops - we discovered too late. Now the pump is history! Had to get a new one overnited to me... just takes me a bit longer to remember, which can be good.)

The spice of life....

2009-09-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

Cancer seems to pop up every time I go about my every day life. It's the spice to my new life.

My back has been on the fritz the last few weeks. I've had tests to see if it was the disc and last week I had an MRI. I went in yesterday to find out about it and to start the fix-er-up part. The doctor read from the radiologist's report. He pointed out where I'd had surgery ealier. He showed me where the bulging disc was this time around.... But what was really interesting them was the cancer that they found in my tail bone. WHAT????? We did that already! It was in my left breast. They cut it out. I did chemo. I did radiation..... so what was this new thing all about?

The doctor said I'd need to put off fixing the bulging disc for the time being (more days of being in la la land due to the meds...) and get a bone scan to find out what was going on. "We have to find out why this bone changes color right here." Well, I'll tell you what it is.... somebody just got back from lunch and he had greasy fingers and streaked the MRI film.... or there was some bubble gum stuck to the chair and they used the mri to scrape it up.... something. something. It has to be something like that.

This afternoon (Priscilla told them at the front desk that we wanted a rush done on this test!) I got a shot of some nuclear medicine. I went back 4 hours later with Max and they did a body scan - checking all my bones. I lay still as I could (the medications I'm on for my back make me itch!) and afterwards, she said nothing. I'll have to wait until I hear back from the doctor. I'll be calling him starting tomorrow morning. I have to know. (Maybe someone had to blow his nose and the mri film was handy???)

Knock, knock...... Who's there?

2009-08-23T20:57:00.001-07:00

Biggest boy has launched out on his own. It's been 8 days since he left. He had to go to save us the chaos, but he's been back.

Friday he called to see if he had any mail. "Yup." "Can I come get it?" (He's still pretty hesitant...) "Yeah, come on over!" "Really?" "Yeah," I told him.

So, he knocks to come in and gets his mail. I asked him if he wanted a peanut butter sandwich. "YEAH!" he says. I made him one and then had to get something from the pantry. He asked if he could have a few things.... "Yea, sure... a few." So he took a bag to our pantry, I gave him a few cucumbers and nectarines, too. He was grateful!

Yesterday, no call, but ..... knock, knock.... "hello, anybody home?" He stopped by again to talk... and get an envelope & postage. Today, he knocked again... just to talk. He's way too big for the britches around here. But, talking for a few minutes here and there is nice... and all right!

Hair hair hair

2009-08-14T22:47:00.000-07:00

So, here's me with some hair - finally. Though I am considering ways to add bang extensions - maybe draw some on???

Summer Breeze

2009-07-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

TA DA! Dad figured this out: the missing letters spell - COURSE. As in Course of 4 lectures......

Can you read the cut-up phrase? This poster is from the 1850's in Rugby, England. The Ebenezer Chapel was being re-opened. My ancestor was the bishop of this church. He was the last speaker announced on this broadsheet! The problem is, some pieces were cut from the poster and it makes one of the words unreadable! Take a close look - there is a phrase - "_ours_ of four lectures..." The word "series" would fit in nicely... I wonder if it being British, there is an extra "u" in the word? Does anyone have a cross-word puzzle dictionary?

We had a lot of wind this past weekend. It blew some branches down off of trees - on the way to church Max saw a branch had crushed a car in the street. Whew! Needless to say, I didn't go to water workout. The dust in the air makes my allergies go crazy! I've been taking some antibiotic and finally got this sinus condition normalized... want to keep it that way.

I've got the cleaning cycle going on my oven. It's setting off the smoke alarm (at least I know it works!)

This week is nice - Our graduate is working almost full-time hours at a gas station; there's one of ours at Girl's Camp and Youngest is going to Partners and Pals - a day camp for developmentally disabled kidlets. He loves it. I love it! Our National Guardsman is leaving on Friday for a month....

This summer is nice because I am healthier! Yea! I had me a big cry last night when I recalled losing all my hair a year ago. A lot of things have been affecting me that way. Last summer, I was REALLY buoyed up by everyone's prayers because I hardly seemed to notice what was going on. But now when I think back on it, I get all teary-eyed.

This summer is nice because I have a vegetable garden - cucumbers and zucchini and strawberries. All producing nicely (want a couple zucchini??) Two of my blueberries are doing wonderfully well!! My new raspberries are taking off - I like the thornless variety! My house is in much better condition now that I'm able to take charge again. Still have the kids helping out, but being able to mop up spills and clean out the fridge and cupboards is great.

I'm getting rested and working on family history. I've just finished transcribing the 50+ pages of text of my gr gr grandpa's probated estate. Funny to read which relatives expected to be paid for their caring for Gr Gr Grandpa on his death bed and which ones protested every little detail. Makes me want to get my own will up-to-date!!!

I stopped at the travel agency last week and got some brochures on traveling to England - next year I want to go and take my parents.

Hairs are still growin'

2009-07-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

My head of hair is getting incrementally longer! Over the past few weeks, the hair that we shaved off a year ago has finally, finally, finally made some little niggly efforts at growing back. (To date, the only hair I have is what fell out a year ago. The shaved hair refused to come back in!)

I've been going to a physical therapist for my lymphedema. It's much better. My next cancer appointments are in August.

Drs.

2009-06-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

Just got back from seeing a "temporary" doctor at the Cancer Center. He checked out where I've had two attacks of cellulitis in the past 6 weeks. It's been on the side where they removed cancer. He looked at my past blood tests and said that my immune system is still low and will be for a year after treatment, that adding to it is the removal of lymph nodes and the radiation of that site that knocked out the rest of the lymph system on that side. Result: Frequent infections that will be triggered by any cut or scrape or overuse of my left arm. He suggested, just as Dr. I did, that I keep a backup antibiotic on hand for when it flares up. Sigh. Just palpating that area has made it sore again. Ibuprofen is once again my best friend.

In looking back over my "hair" photos, I have to concede that it has gotten a pinch longer. What I have is wavy and very, very baby soft! (I'd still love some bang extensions! otherwise, it's very easy to care for. I guess God planned it this way on purpose :) )

It's sunny outside!

2009-05-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that it's sunny - and warm - outside. I have started a bit of a garden in our back yard. We fenced it off from the doggies. I put in blueberries and strawberries and a few seeds - zucchini and cucumbers. No. I am not going to share those with you. You will have to find your own neighbor with zucchini-itis. I am actually planning to eat every last one of them. Same with the cucumbers. I've been buying them all winter/spring, just dreaming of the day when I could have my OWN.

I will take the usual precautions... wearing gloves since I have lymphodema; and keeping neosporin in my purse for the same reason.

I've enjoyed immensely my time at the physical therapists. I started May 1st seeing Sara Nelson at Therapy Solutions. Each Monday and Friday I get a massage and training on how to care for my skin, lymph tissues, and even get some free counseling in as well. Her last question is helping me the most - "What if everything is already great?" Her pointed questions are helping tremendously!

I will be starting some medical leave of absence from work - hopefully this week. I need some more rest from this whole cancer treatment thing.

Is that a wave coming on?

2009-04-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

I've been going without a hat to work for a week or so now. Since it's warmer, I don't mind so much.

The first day back to work after Spring Break, one of the life skills kids said, "Oh, you've cut your hair." "Nope," I said, "it's actually growing back in." The next day when this same student saw me, she said,
"Mrs. Rickords. Your hair!
Um.
It's getting longer."
Ha! She's cute.

Actually, various people have commented that my hair is getting CURLY. I have to concede that there is a wave or two starting to form.

Heather came over from Bellingham to visit. She's only been gone two months, but it seemed like an eternity. We were so glad she came. And brought her kitty. And left her kitty with us. Our home teachers came by and asked us who was sitting with us. "She was real pretty." they said. We had quite a laugh when they heard it was Heather and not one of Stephen's girlfriends. We got a photo, too, since we were all together:

Good news!

2009-04-06T22:04:00.001-07:00

I had an appointment with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) last week. It had been postponed because I hadn't had my mammogram yet. I finally got it and they said it was as normal as could be expected considering what I'd been through. Interpretation: Great! Dr. Rege gave me a clean bill of health, too! Yea! See her next year! Dr. Chenal (chemo dr.) is next - I'm supposed to see him in a few weeks.

Dr. Rege said that the infection I got a week ago was a common occurence for folks like me (who also have rosacea - bright red checks) and who go through radiation. She said the peeling hands (again!) are a side effect of the chemo. Oh, and she said that I had a mammogram instead of ultrasound because ultrasounds are for those who "feel a lump." Everyone else gets mammograms........

More attention please!

2009-03-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry. I just wasn't getting enough attention lately. Had to come up with something new and interesting..... I got an ear infection and staff infection over the weekend. The infection covers my left chest and my left arm. Went to the Kania Clinic last night and Dr. Kania put me on two different antibiotics. I can't work until this clears up. So, I stayed home and tidied the house and mended a dozen things.

Some good news, though: I wrote two essays for my history class and have found a historical book for my third essay.

Still Shy...

2009-03-19T23:53:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to get used to going around without a hat. I leave it on whenever I'm in public. I feel absolutely "naked" without it or a wig on my head. I got brave and went to the temple Tuesday night with just my baby hairs. I was teary-eyed and felt vulnerable. Did the other people understand why I look so odd? I wonder if they think I styled my hair this way on purpose??? I'm glad Lorna was there to comfort me.

My baby-fine hairs

2009-03-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

Here is me as of today. I thought for sure I'd have a head of hair by Christmas. Then I knew it would be grown out by my birthday.... That's long gone and well, it's still thin, baby fine and... wispy and... not a single curl in sight!

Here I got it wet and tried to spike it. Not much success - it's just too wimpy...

I have to retract a statement from my last blog. My mom remembers Dr. Droesch telling us that the reason he didn't take out ALL the lymph nodes that might have some cancer is BECAUSE he didn't want me to get lymphedema. (Which I got anyway since I had radiation.....) So, I guess I was informed about the possibilities of lymphedema. A gal in the school's cafeteria told me that her lymphedema (she wears a compression sleeve 24/7) was the worst the physical therapist had ever seen. She learned some exercises (raise your arms above your head and cross them back and forth. Also, doing wall push ups.) She had a way of tracing her fingers up her fingers, up her arm and across her chest that she said helps bring the lymph fluids up and trains the other lymph nodes to take up the fluid from that side. She also told me that she started Tranquil Waters a place for women who need help with cancers. She also raises money to make it possible for women to get mammograms who can't afford it!)

I have a Dr. appointment with Dr. Rege (radiation doc) this Thursday for a check up. I'm sure I'll be just fine!

Lymphedema

2009-03-04T10:41:00.000-08:00

Went to my family doctor Monday - I have the beginnings of lymphedema in my left arm. Feels like I'm wearing a blood pressure cuff all the time - you know that painful feeling when they check your blood pressure??? I have an appointment with a physical therapist who specializes in this type of situation.... appointment is May 1st.

In the meantime, I can take ibuprofen for it. There is nothing else besides raising the arm above heart level that will help it. I'm supposed to avoid hot tubs, etc, lifting things, having my blood pressure or blood work done on that arm. Apparently it occurs in 25% of breast cancer patients - especially where they took many lymph nodes (not me - they only took 3) or who have had radiation in the axilla (arm pit.) This is what I did. Apparently, shriveling up those lymph nodes can cause your arm to get sore and then start swelling.

I didn't find out all this from my doctors. (They're all pointing their fingers away from themselves.) I heard from Teresa at work who's been through breast cancer treatments - who heard about it from reading articles. I've read some great literature on the internet, but "funny" the doctors didn't bother to tell me to watch for this.

This week

2009-02-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

Got to sleep in today - YEA!!! (Stayed up late last night reading my new favorite book: Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.) I worked in the garage for several hours with Taija as my super-hero helper. She put some of Heather's boxes up in the garage rafters... We took a carload of stuff to St. Vinnies.... Stopped at McDonalds for lunch... Worked on my history 400 class - I'm having to reread all the texts that I read last year because I can't remember anything from BC (Before Cancer).

Went without my hat today... In front of Taija's friends... she had her friends over to play "murder" in the dark. Kyle is on the computer watching cartoon network "at www.com" (That's his interpretation of it, anyway.) We're relegated to my room with the door closed - so we don't shed any light on their party.

The City coffers are going to be filled to overflowing with contributions from our kids last week. Jacob got a ticket - as well as everyone else in the car - for riding without enough seat belts and being driven by a friend without his six months of "family only" probation up yet..... There's $120.

His big brother got a ticket for being too "noisy" - his car has no muffler ($225.) Add that to the speeding ticket he got two weeks ago ($150) and the one for the accident in November..... (reduced to $100.) Step right up - the city should be handing out cash to all citizens soon!

We've filled up the extra room (Heather's while she was here) with Max's fishing gear and my genealogy. What a combination. We're "fishing for some dead relatives???" I've been busy scanning photos in there from a photo album I'd put together of his grandma's family some years ago... 4 pages done, about 35 more to go (about 6-8 photos per page!!)

Max is still wonderful in the laundry department. He washes/dries, then dumps them on the bed for me to fold. It's a great help as I get back my energy - bit by bit.

Forty-niner

2009-02-23T19:57:00.000-08:00

I had a birthday yesterday. It was quite enjoyable, if I DO say so myself! Lorna brought over a lasagne, salad and some GRAPES! MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmm! Lucky us! I got calls from my brother, sister, mom, mom-in-law, and Heather. Well-wishes from MANY at church!

Taija made me a chocolate cake - Max frosted it - Kyle found the candles, lit them (and blew them out, too!)
Below is a photo of my hair so far - it seems to be on "hold" at the moment - not much showing for all my efforts (eating healthy, taking vitamins, fish oil capsules, herbs.....) Just saw Carol's curly hair on her blog and I am wildly jealous!!! I definitely need to have words with my chemo doctor!!!!! (Maybe that's why I got a note that he's retiring.....)

Heather has found a new home up in Bellingham. We went around for a month taking photos of everything unique to Kennewick and its environs: Kennewick man (reproduction from mask), wind turbines on Horse Heaven Hills, the Moore Mansion, relatives' homes, neighbors, etc. I put together an entire album for her the night/morning before she left. Finished at 3am.... just now feeling back to normal after that!

Me and Heather before she took off...

Grab Bag

2009-02-03T16:13:00.001-08:00

Karen talked with me Sunday about caring for my nails. I sanded them down because they were so bumpy. Ouch, ouch... Mistake! She referred me to a product called ProStrong. Just ordered some. Hopefully, my nails will stop hurting when I use it.

Karen also comforted me over my lack of hair growth. It's going to take a while. I whined that the hair that fell out is growing back in, but the hair I shaved off isn't. (You know, it should be "the last shall be first....," right??? She said this cancer treatment stuff is a "grab bag." You never know what will happen. I do know that my eyebrows are contemplating coming back - and my eyelashes have rebounded imperceptably. They are both showing traces of existence, much to my relief! Some people don't get them back at all!

Kyle saw me sans hat the other day. He announced that I have so much hair now that I can go without it....... Maybe later... when there's a couple of inches in length! (Though Sherry has plans to dye my hair soon and have me mousse it and wear it in spikes. Mmmmmmmmm, have to think on that one!)

3 months

2009-01-30T15:06:00.001-08:00

I went to Dr. Chenal's today. I got emotional being there and almost bawled. Aaaaaack. Lots of memories of the place. But..... Looks like I'm healthy as can be. BP = 106/62 White blood cells are a bit low... the tumor # was just exactly within the normal range. So, I'm well! Yea! I go back the end of April for my next 3-month checkup. I have another mammogram next month (February.)

P.S. Heather went in for an ultrasound. She found a lump in her breast last fall. The doctor said it was a cyst and we finally talked her in to getting the followup ultrasound for today. The doctor said she was just "lumpy." At least now we know what is "normal" for her. Everyone else, PLEASE get your annual exam!!

P.P.S. My wig is making the rounds (ladies from work!) So glad that it's being put to good use. I feel guilty for not wearing it every day (as it cost a fortune!) but for now, Sundays will have to do. I just wear my hats to school. They are much more comfortable.

What to say

2009-01-24T14:48:00.000-08:00

I ran into a friend at the store. Haven't seen her since before diagnosis and treatment. She kept repeating over and over: "I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know what to say, so I never said anything to you all these months."

I laughed and told her to say, "hi." Am I so scary that people would be afraid to talk with me? Cancer isn't contagious! Well... breast cancer isn't As far as I know. Anyway, I'm astounded by her reaction to seeing me.

And just say, "hi" next time you see me. (I promise I've stopped biting....)

Ahem....

2009-01-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday a sweet lady at church stopped me and asked how I was doing. "Great!" I told her. "Really?" She asked. "Yes. Fantastic!"

Her next answer threw me for a loop: "Good, then I'll stop praying for you."

I'm still at a loss for words. "No! Wait. Keep praying.... pleeeeeease!"

There is about a 1/2" of hair on top of my head. Not quite enough to go without the hats or wig, I'm sure anxious for that time to come, though!

New Year's Day:

January 18th:

Getting Well-ified...

2009-01-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

Glad for the weekend - I'll probably get lots of rest. But, I have actually had some energy this week - yea!!!!!!! The Christmas break was wonderful for getting rest. And reading.... (David Baldacci's "Divine Justice") And preparing to finish my on-line History 400 class (well, figured out that the chemo-brain thing has caused me to forget everything I'd previously read, so I'll have to re-read all the texts... sigh.)

Returned to the Family History Library last night where I serve as "librarian." My sabbatical is up! I found my sunglasses there that have been missing since last summer... and had fun catching up with the other librarians' news.

So GLAD that the snow is gone! It was so slick that on Monday I fell twice at work - crossing the parking area and again when I was going to the buses to assist students. They said that 11 staff at our school fell that day, including the principal. Innumerable students fell. We kept warning them about the ice, but many went down anyway. That's the tough part of having a California-style campus (all classrooms open to the outdoors) in a place with 4 seasons!

Merriest Christmas!

2008-12-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

We had the nicest Christmas! Everyone was happy - pleased with their bounty... White Bluffs Elementary adopted us and treated us to a mighty fine holiday :)

Max got this photo of me while I was still asleep - before all the festivities...(you can see that my left eyebrow is missing as well as all eyelashes...gone! Oddly, they've fallen out since November while there is some definite fuzz on the sides of my head - I actually have more hair than one of my brothers-in-law! Yea!!!

My absent port site is feeling much better. My sister-in-law was concerned that it had been taken out too early. Nope. It's feeling so GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Dr. Droesch surmised that my bruised jaw occurred after the anesthesiologist gave me more anesthesia (I was moving around while lightly sedated and lifting up my arms...) and then my airway collapsed. He had to hold my jaw up to keep it open so that I could breathe. My sister-in-law says that sometimes when a patient's airway collapses, they end up with broken teeth, etc. as the anesthesiologist rushes to insert a tube. I guess I got off easy, considering.....

It's GONE!

2008-12-22T22:39:00.000-08:00

The surgeon took out my medi port this morning at Kadlec Hospital. YEA!!! It feels so much better already. Have to find out who won the fight, though.... that's what the kids said. My jaw has a bruise on it and inside my mouth is a cut and I have a sore tooth. We figured there must have been a boxing match going on while I was out with anesthesia. The doctor is supposed to call me back tomorrow and I'll ask him.

I wore my santa hat to the hospital to keep my head warm in this freezing weather - and they let me keep it on. ha! or, ho! ho! ho!

I'm looking forward to hanging out with the kids this week - watch them play in all this snow! (While keeping warm and toasty in my special socks and bundled in sweaters!!!) Tonight we watched edited versions of Mean Girls and The Bucket List. I liked them both!

Generosity in abundance!

2008-12-19T19:00:00.000-08:00

We've had a two-hour delay for school all week. Amazing! I don't think we would have done so if we still lived in Colorado, but, hey, I got to sleep in which was wonderful.

I think I saw Rochelle yesterday at the Cancer Center. I didn't get a chance to say, "hi", but it looked like her and her kidlets. My Taija was excited to get to work on the puzzles that they have there on every table!

I stayed home yesterday. I had a headache and I knew that my one-on-one student wasn't coming to school.... so I got more rest and caught up on "Mom things" that haven't been done in too-long-to-mention.

After taking Taija to the orthodontist, We stopped by the Cancer Center. An elementary school had adopted us for Christmas and we got to pick up the gifts - it was overwhelming! Michelle and Karen at the cancer center were so sweet. I think they were having fun playing Santa! I cried. They had a bag of gifts for everyone - including the cats and doggies!! Whoa! I am so truly amazed and overwhelmed with the generosity that is cascading our way. The bishop stopped by earlier this week and brought a box of Christmas goodies and a gift card. People are so nice!!!

I'm getting everything ready for surgery on Monday (and Dr. Chenal's nurse called to say it was okay to have the port taken out! yippee skippee!!! I don't have to worry anymore about doing it on the sly.)

My port is almost history!

2008-12-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

I talked with my surgeon - Dr. Droesch - yesterday and he's got me scheduled to have my port (where they gave me the chemotherapy drugs) removed from my chest December 22nd. I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!! It is ugly.... It sticks out 3/4"... and it gets irritated, so even though they prefer you to keep them in for a year, I'm giving myself an Early Christmas Gift and having it taken out.

(He did ask if it was okay with Dr. Chenal..... hmmmmm, never thought to ask him, but oh, well....)

. . . .2 . . . .1 . . .I'm Done!!!

2008-12-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

Yippee! I had my last radiation treatment today. Lorna brought me roses - mmmmmmmmm!

The doctor said I have to come back in 3 months - and get another mammogram in 3 months... and see my surgeon, Dr. Droesch, in 3 months.... So, March should be busy with doctors... but, until then I guess I'm a free woman! Yea!!!!

Count down..... 6.. 5... 4.. 3....

2008-12-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

#28 radiation treatment today - I only have two more to go - yea! I am burnt still, but Monday Dr. Gievers said "Let's get this over with!" and then prescribed me some hydrocodone to take care of the pain and benadryl cream for the itch and the plan to keep applying the silver sulpha-something to heal the three worst spots. Larry, the fellow who works on puzzles with me while we wait for our appointments, finished yesterday - he had 67 treatments. Two others we know have finished, too. I told him that cancer must be a thing of the past since we're all finishing up. He didn't think so.

So, Monday afternoon I should be finished! I will have to have a Finisher's party or something...

I met a gal while waiting for radiation who is actually from my water aerobics class of a few years ago who just finished chemo and is now doing radiation... small world. (But I'm jealous cuz she didn't lose all of her hair... different chemo drugs.)

Went to the eye doctor's on Tuesday. The chemo drugs have caused cataracts to start on my eyes. Dr. Manley is going to keep an eye on that and see how fast they grow. I also have 3 more 'bleeder' spots in my eyes from diabetes. (Something else he is also going to watch.) I left my glasses with them since I'll be needing a new prescription for my lenses. Maybe I'll be able to Read with these!

I was remembering last week all that I have to be thankful for:
- finding 'the lump' in time
- having great doctors for surgery, chemo and radiation
- having even better nurses/technicians to pull me through the hard times!!!
- having a husband and kids who love me in spite of my bald head, absence in the kitchen for 6 months, and all my tears...
- the prayers of many, many friends, family and people I don't even know!
- caring people who've called or brought meals, notes, pillows, quilts, afghans, socks, plants, flowers...

THANK YOU!!!!

Burnt - still...

2008-11-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

Every Monday I get checked by Dr. Rege before starting radiation for the week. Last week she gave me a prescription for my burned underarm and neck. I also didn't get radiation in those places for a week. I still have to get 5 more treatments there, but it was set aside to "rest" until after they did a new area.

So, last week they zapped me with "electrons" in an area right in Left center where the incision was. (TechnoGuy told me that the other areas were getting zapped by "Photons".) It's red in the new place now - just no pleasing this body of mine, is there?

When Dr. Rege saw me today and how burnt I am, she said that I won't get radiation AT ALL for a week. If we have to keep prolonging this I may yet be there when they finish the Cancer Center's new addition!

I told the nurse about my feet - they're peeling. She said it's a delayed reaction to the chemo treatments. I guess it's that palmer-plantar syndrome come to haunt me.... At least my UT infection has cleared up! Dr. Rege said that having that is what made me burn so badly - she said that my body couldn't fight off both things at the same time.

And Stephen wrecked his two-week-old car Friday and has had a dozen other "tragedies" recently (And - sigh - that great behavior straight out of boot camp has finally worn off)... the middle two kiddos went to a big dance Saturday dressed in 50's outfits (you-know-who helped get the outfits together) ... Kyle's school has had parent-teacher conferences this month, so they've had lots of days off and early releases... Hmmmmm, I'm contemplating moving to a deserted island for the rest of the year..... too many things coming at me all at once!

Cross your fingers...

2008-11-18T21:51:00.000-08:00

It's gotta work - I'm crossing my fingers (and said a prayer): the antibiotics I got today will heal my UTI. The prescription for my burnt underarm will do its thing - please!

Burned... Finally

2008-11-16T18:17:00.000-08:00

So, Last week I was a tad pink on my left side where the 180 rads zap me each day. By Friday I was burnt. Ouch! I put aloe vera on my chest, neck and back twice a day, but it happened anyway. It hurts like any sunburn, but I guess I'll live. I'm also very exhausted. Some days I can't get up for work. Today I missed church and slept the entire day. This is frustrating!!!

My blood sugars have been way, way out of whack, too, which has led to a grand UT Infection. Treated it by drinking some apple cider vinegar yesterday and more today. I may have to visit the doctor, though. Whine, whine, whine..... I need some cheese with that! (That's what I tell my kids, anyway, when they carry on and on like I have!)

Rads and Markings

2008-11-11T23:57:00.000-08:00

Today I had the kids with me - appointments, shopping Value Village's 50% off sale, radiation treatment..... The radiation techs told me that I get 180 rads each day. I'm not sure how that translates or compares to other x-rays... I asked Dr. Geivers (sp) (who's stepping in for Dr. Rege this week) yesterday about my lead apron question... why you cover yourself with a lead apron when you get Dental x-rays and not with my treatments.

Know what he said? The lead apron is just a "feel good" kind of thing. It doesn't do much and the low dose of dental x-rays really don't cause any harm, either. On the other hand, the ultra-high dose of radiation given for cancer treatments would have no problem penetrating a lead apron ("like a knife through butter") and the techs give this high dose in a very specific, directional way..... So, don't know if I feel better about that or not... I had my first twinge of pain with today's treatment.

After my zap session today, I had to remain still while they added several pieces to the "head" that does the zapping and then began marking all over me again. Dr. Geivers came in to check out the tech's artwork. Apparently he approved. This was done so that they can focus on the tumor site for future treatments.

The kids survived having to wait for me through all of this. I was duly impressed and treated them to some Halloween candy that I keep in my purse (for my one-on-one student - really!) Now that our 4-day weekend is over, We head back to school for 3 days... it just might be a rest compared to what I've been doing all weekend. (Washing walls to rid the house of the "smoke" flavoring I added Sunday, sorting and doing laundry... appointments.)

1/2 way there!

2008-11-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

I've now had 17 (of 30) radiation treatments. My zapped skin is "tougher" feeling, but I still don't have redness anywhere. The aloe vera is working...

Heather and I got our passports in the mail on Friday! yea! Now we need somewhere to go! Any ideas?

Yesterday, I got some soft ski hats to wear on my sore head - it has prickly hair and soft fuzzy hair both growing - but rub it the wrong way and my scalp HURTS! ouch! I got an eyebrow pencil, too, since my eyebrows are NOW coming out to join my almost-lashless eyes. What a dirty trick to pull - just when I figured all the damage was done and I was on the way to recovery!

Recent accomplishments: Max & I got to the temple yesterday. And we stopped at Sonic and had Sonic Burgers, onion rings and shakes! yum! We haven't been on a "date" in months! Today I led the music at church (shaking all the way!) Bit by bit I'm getting back to normal.

(I smoked up the house pretty good today - while I was leading the opening hymn I realized that I had left some beans boiling on the stove at home. After that hymn, I walked down into the congregation and asked Max to please run home and deal with the situation... Stephen had already done that (he attends the single's ward later in the afternoon). When Max got home, the smoke alarm was going - and he found that Stephen'd opened the windows & doors and taken the burnt pan of beans out onto the porch. Whew! The house is still pretty stinky. Maybe I can wash one wall at a time over the next few days......)
(And the geraniums Mom planted for me this summer are still blooming! I wonder if I can get them in the house and save them over the winter :) )

Prozac Moments

2008-11-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Wednesdays are usually longer at the radiation place. It was at least 20-25 minutes today (and absolutely no moving!) The techs get regular x-rays along with the treatment x-rays. I asked why I don't get a lead apron over the parts of me that aren't the target area (like when you have your teeth x-rayed.) I didn't get a very good explanation, so I'm going to try asking the techno-speak guy tomorrow.

Today I almost got a kink in my neck because I was laying in my "usual" position so long. (I lay on a platform on my back, hands over my head, head turned to the right, the left half of my gown open to expose my tattoos.) They adjust the machine to "91.5" which is how many degrees off-center the rays are so that they just touch my lungs. (There was a whole lot more to that explanation by the techno-speak guy, but I couldn't grasp the entire concept.)

I went to Dr. I yesterday. Heather made the appointment and took me. I was home from work and I'd been crying - again. I had actually been working on a prayer. I was thanking God for my chemo and radiation when I just lost it and started the crying jag. I remembered that Dr. Rege had suggested on Monday that I talk to Dr. I about Prozac. She said it's often needed for 6 months after treatments. I've been so weepy lately and it's been getting worse. Hopefully, I'm now set to compose myself... eventually. If my family can wait that long...

Dr. I answered a lot of my questions that I've been saving up. For instance, my numb toes don't have anything to do with diabetic neuropathy, it's strictly a side effect of the chemo drug Taxotere. I was worried about that. He also checked my A1C (a diabetes test to see how much sugar has been in the bloodstream over the past 3 months) it was lower than before I had cancer and the steroid treatments! Guess checking every 2 hours helped!

The young girls from church brought over a lovely gift for me this afternoon - cut out leaves with "get well" messages attached to a long braided cord. It is very cheering! I am not forgotten!

Radiation #13

2008-11-03T23:31:00.000-08:00

So far, so good. No redness where they're zapping me with the x-rays. No pain. I saw Dr. Rege today who told me that - unfortunately - there are no "magic" pills to give me energy (I asked!) She said that people who've been through chemo and then go on to radiation are just very tired. She said she'd write me a note to excuse me from work if I needed it. I was approved for sick leave sharing last week, so I may just have to take some time off.

I actually took the day off from work today because I had the nasty flu all weekend. Kyle had it last week. Then Jacob. Then Stephen. Now me and Heather. We're just a sharing kind of family! The other family members aren't eager for us to share, however.

CT results

2008-10-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Heather's birthday and after my appointment with Dr. Chenal (and a blood draw) and my radiation we went to the county courthouse and applied for our passports. We're headed nowhere, but just want them. It was her birthday gift from me. I was completely worn out from all of the above (and a low-blood sugar episode to boot) so I sent Heather out to buy her own cake and ice cream and to bring pizza home for us. She was okay with that. I had to weep a while thinking of how I couldn't even manage birthday trappings for my girl.

At my appointment yesterday, I whined to Dr. Chenal that my fingernails are all warped and my toes have been numb for two weeks. He just looked at me and said, "But you're done with chemo! Aren't you glad?" Oh, yeah. I forgot to be glad. Shame on me. I am glad, actually.

He said that the CT scan showed that my lymph nodes have shrunk and there is nothing abnormal about them and that the blood tests were great, too. So, I just have to go back in January and every 3 months for a couple of years. (I still have radiation every afternoon until December 3rd.) And, the radiation reduces my chances of cancer recurrence from 30% to 2%, so I guess I'm glad about that, too.

My hair? Take a look at your arm. That's what my scalp looks like... pale hair all around. It's darker at my sideburns. (For the passport photos and signing, I wore my wig, hope that isn't illegal.)

PINK week

2008-10-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wednesday I got a CT scan of my chest area - I should know the results of that next Wednesday when I meet with Dr. Chenal. And, I've survived a full week and two days of radiation. The only part that feels irritated is my upper arm - and the technicians say that it isn't even getting zapped. Silly arm! I started taking off my insulin pump during treatments because even though they say it isn't in an area that gets zapped, I'm not completely convinced anymore.

(Look at the center of this photo. Do you see that tall fellow wearing what looks like a white T-shirt? That's our Jacob!)
The high schools have been having the kids wear pink this week in support of breast cancer awareness. Wednesday, on my way to radiation I saw part of the 3-mile-long link of students (from Kamiakin to Southridge) who showed their support by forming a human chain between the two schools. I tried to get my own photos, but a guy behind me was yelling to keep moving... so, these photos are from the Tri-City Herald. The one below is of one of Kamiakin's attendance secretaries who was also out supporting the chain - a very nice lady:

I went at half time last night to the football game between Kamiakin and Southridge. They presented a check for $15,000 to the Cancer Center - money the schools had raised this week.
The football players had pink ribbons on their helmets. The marching band and color guard were wearing pink shirts. Taija is in Southridge's color guard and I got some photos of her before heading out. (Max was patiently waiting for me in the parking lot.)

(That's our Taija out in front!)
I still get weepy. Don't know why. I got a spell during my radiation yesterday. Had to hold still while tears flowed. I tried to distract myself by counting the screws on the radiation equipment. 18.

Kamiakin's office ladies tried to convince me a couple days ago to apply for leave sharing and take time off work to get to feeling better. I am really trying to get some energy back so that I can do this job and take care of my family. It's a slow road, but I think bit by bit I'm coming along. I try to get some rest after school, but the kids always need to be somewhere.

When I have the energy, I've read the "Number 1 Ladies Detective" series by Alexander McCall-Smith. They are a lot of fun and easy reading. I also am trying to piece back together what I had started on my BYU Bachelor of General Studies class last March.

Radiation #3 of 30

2008-10-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Been really tired this past week. I couldn't stay for all of church yesterday and I nap every day for several hours. That's what I get for being a slug all summer! I blamed part of this weakness on the radiation, but apparently, the "tiredness" doesn't kick in for almost 3 weeks. Carol brought over dinner for us on Saturday - what a terrific marvelous surprise!!!

I didn't realize that I'm supposed to be 1/2 hour early to my radiation appointments on Mondays. Dr. Rege and her nurse saw me today before my treatment. Everything looks good so far. Have to put Aloe Vera gel on my radiated site twice a day. I hadn't been doing that. They gave me a pink bag for breast cancer awareness month. And a bracelet that someone had made. Really pretty!!

One of the radiation computers was down today, so I waited over an hour for my treatment. Once I got in there, I was zapped 6 times. Same as before. The radiation tech (or whatever his title is) told me that the rays are x-rays and we had a discussion about how "long" the zaps are and why... Pretty technical stuff.

The kids at Kamiakin and Southridge are doing a "Link" on Wednesday. They're going to make a chain of people from one school to the other. Taija tells me that they need 3,600 people to make the distance. Volunteers are welcome! All this is to raise awareness of breast cancer.

I'm still confused as to why breast cancer gets all the attention over other cancers. A lady tried to explain to me today that it's because breast cancer is very invasive and causes so many deaths. I will have to research this.

Started Radiation!

2008-10-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

It's been an exhausting week being back at work. And my eyes have been running! I promise I'm not crying! At least not today. After work Monday I was very emotional and cried for two hours. Not really sure why - just over-tired, I guess.

Monday, I also got a digital mammogram - they take much longer than regular ones. After being kneaded, squished, and rayed, the technician showed the results to the doctor. After a bit, she returned with Dr. Weighall in tow. I thought for sure if he was showing up, the news must be bad, but no: things looked great!

Wednesday, after work, I went to the Cancer Center and got marked up again and x-rayed. This was their final check before radiation started - which began today.

Every day now after work until December 3rd I'll go in to the cancer center, put a hospital top on, lie down on a table, get lined up according to my tattoos, then lay there for about 8 minutes. The hardest part is not getting to move! I can't even itch my nose!! I try to concentrate on looking at all the colorful ceiling tiles - yesterday's room had some from Kennewick High. This room today had a sign that its tiles were from the boys and girls clubs. They had lots of "Be Happy" phrases everywhere. So, I took their advice and am. Just tired, though.

He's back....

2008-10-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Stephen made it home last night from boot camp. We picked him up at the airport about 8:30. He's turned into a regular gentleman. At home he asked permission to open the fridge and get something to eat. I can get used to this!

Kyle and Dad made it back from boy scout camp a few minutes ago. It must have been cold. Kyle had on 3 coats and said he cried this morning. (Just like us here at home with the thermostat not working properly.)

I am getting myself ready to start back to work on Monday. My emotions are swinging around like a trapeze artist. Dr. Chenal's office didn't get back with me (I gave them notice on Wednesday) about the note I need saying I'm healthy enough to return to work. I guess I'll have to get that Monday after work and after my mamogram at Kadlec.

Six months now

2008-10-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Watched Conference this past weekend. Last time it was Conference - six months ago - the kids and I were in Salt Lake watching it in person. And this cancer was just a mystery lump that was most likely just "a cyst." I still don't look at it as being so horrible. Somehow in the past few years I've managed to survive knee, back and wrist surgeries, a hysterectomy and a broken leg. I've learned to manage my Type I diabetes throughout it all as well. And now this taxotere routine is miserably predictable; but Taija pointed out that it's Almost Over! I need to be reminded frequently as I wade through the next few days of aches and pain, nasty taste buds, ugly fingernails and sluggish sleep.....

Friday, I went to the radiation side of the cancer center. Larry the Simulation Guy took me back to a room that had colorful ceiling tiles (courtesy of one of our middle schools) where I got my photo taken, reversed my gown - ooops - and waited for Dr. Rege to come. She drew all over me with a black marker - up my neck, down my side, around my chest, etc. Larry taped wires over the markings and made a template, then put me through a CT scan... and got more photos (aaagh!) Finally, he daubed ink at the top and middle of my chest and on either side, then poked the areas with a needle - my tattoos! (No, he wouldn't do hearts or smiley faces...) In a week or so they'll call and set up my radiation times.

Next Monday I'll be back at work. Oh, boy! Wish I had my hair back, though. The nurses said to expect some fluff in a couple months. I can't wait! (A side note: My super-de-duper insurance has an exclusion about wigs.... they won't pay for the one I bought last spring.)

Last Chemo!

2008-10-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

The nurses sang!

Just got home - after 5pm. Sharel took me to chemo at 9am. What a sweetie! It was A LONG day! It's my own fault, though. I finished chemo at 1:30pm - which I knew would be the case and then I had a 3:30 appointment with the Dr. Rege about my radiation which was in the same building. I had decided ahead of time to just hang out there for the duration. I will see her again on Friday. I had asked earlier if I could hang out in "my chair" until my second appointment. It worked out okay. I read and napped. Then Heather took me home. And I've FINISHED chemo!

Afterwards, the nurses sang, "For she's a jolly good fellow..." and gave me a card and a bottle of sparkling cider! They are so good to me.

With my personal chemo nurses - Laela and Gloria

I found out that I'm not "finished" with them yet, though. I meet with Dr. Chenal in 4 weeks. (Have a CT scan in 3 weeks to see how the cancer looks.) I'll have more labs then and then I have to go in every 4-6 weeks to get my port flushed. They will leave that in for about a year. (As I've noted before, I Do Not Like my port!) I didn't realize there would be on-going care. It made me weepy to think of all this additional "stuff."

And that isn't all the "stuff." Dr. Rege wants me to have a mammogram (I'm doing it at Kadlec in 2 weeks) and more blood work and the appointment on Friday is for the "simulation." I think that means I'll start with them making forms, etc. I'm supposed to begin radiation within 2 weeks. That will be daily for 6 weeks. (The side effects will mainly be skin burn and tiredness. I think I can deal with that! Chemo is supposed to be much worse than radiation.)

Ra ra sis boom ba!

2008-09-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

So you don't think I'm always pathetic and miserable, I thought I'd share that things are going really well today. Heather and I got out today (and somehow two packages of Little Caesers breadsticks joined us for lunch!) I read a really good mystery book today (The Keepsake by Tess Gerritsen.) I've watched Heather's hyperactive kitten race around and around and around. And, my innards are HEALTHY today! Yea!

I'm just lacking in energy. I think I turned into a slug with this last treatment. (Slugs are hairless and slow and lay around a lot, yes??)

Miracles never cease!

2008-09-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I got a phone call from Carol. She arranged with Susan to alter Taija's homecoming dress - yea! And at the talent auction, she was the winning bid for April's "Hair Styling..." which she donated to Taija as well. Looks like my little lady will get off on her first date really well-prepared!

The last couple of days have been hard. Not feeling very well. But, in spite of that I had made it my goal to be ready to return to work Monday, October 13th. I've been trying to put forth more energy and doing more - walking around the block, etc. But it just seems to backfire. Today, in tears I prayed for help and laid down; wrapped myself in the afghan Mom just sent. And wouldn't you know, she called right then. Just when I needed it most! Mom knew to call and Dad prayed for me and I'm doing lots better. My own miracle! God certainly is aware of us, even all our minutae! Thank you for your warm thoughts and prayers :)

Tales from Sleepy Hollow

2008-09-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

I think I've been asleep for about 3 full days now. I've been up long enough to eat and run to the restroom, but am soooooo sleepy, I just crash again. I guess it's the kytril and phenergen (anti-nausea meds) combined with the chemo and pain medications.

Yesterday, Max took Taija out looking for a homecoming dress for next weekend. That's how out of it I am! They came back with a pretty dress that needs some altering.

This and That and Steroids

2008-09-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

Sharel took me to and from chemo #7 today. Thank you!!!!! So far so good. I didn't get to sleep until 5:30am - the steroids keep me wired. My blood pressure this morning was 156/80 - it's NEVER ever been that high - even when I was in the hospital last week with the kidney infection. The nurses said it might be the steroids and only getting 1.5 hours sleep this morning/last night.

The steroids have also caused another trauma in my life. I realized last night (when I wasn't sleeping) that due to the steroids, I will not be able to compete in the 2012 London Olympics. Not that I was making plans, but to know something is completely off-limits now was a bit of a startle. (As I see it, even if my blood doesn't show the steroids by then, my almost-existent transparent hairs would show that I have used them... sigh...)

Chemo #7

2008-09-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

I tried to get out of it. My tooth has been aching for over a week, so when I went to the dentist, I fully expected him to tell me I needed a root canal. ANYTHING to avoid having treatment #7!!! No such luck. The x-rays were fine, he ground down the crown some and said it may have been throwing off my bite which in turn caused the pain. So, looks like I'll be pumped up with Taxotere again tomorrow after all. I've even started the dexamethasone (steroids) like a good girl....

Update

2008-09-12T20:31:00.001-07:00

Home sweet home. I made it home last night (Thursday) about 8pm. The doctor had come by and "released" me about 5pm, but you know how things take time.....

On Wednesday, I didn't see a doctor until 8pm. He told me that he needed to talk with a urologist. So, on Thursday when I saw Doc Budweiser again (I kept looking, but couldn't quite catch his entire last name... it was something like Bun...weis...) he told me that he had talked with the urologist (who has an equally unpronounceable name) who told him that sometimes with chemo, a person can get "uric acid" stones in the kidneys. He said I may have had one which would explain all the blood and the pain in the right side. Well. I don't want to do that again. Hope my body has it figured out how to avoid future occurrences.

My chemo nurses were concerned enough about me when I didn't show up on Wednesday (Dr. Chenal forgot to tell them about my hospitalization) that they called Max and asked what was going on. Then on Thursday, Diana - Dr. Chenal's physician's assistant - that I see every other visit - stopped by and checked me over to make sure I was doing okay. She was so nice. Dr. Droesch who did my cancer surgery saw my name and stopped in to check on me, too. He said that he would be seeing me many more times in the future as he keeps tabs on this cancer.

Cleta came by on Thursday with flowers. So sweet! Tracy, Teresa and Sherry from Kamiakin's life skills class - where I will eventually get back to working - stopped in on Wednesday and chatted and brought a plant and the funniest get well card. We laughed for two hours. I was very well-taken care of during my stay at the hospital! And am VERY glad to be home again... Where I will wait for chemo #7 to take place NEXT Wednesday (the 17th.)

p.s. I have a VERY VERY sparkly clean shower and bathroom since Kathy stopped by and brought her bucket of cleaning supplies. YEA! It hasn't sparkled like this in years! THANK YOU!

New Address: Kadlec Hospital Room #316

2008-09-10T14:01:00.000-07:00

Help. I'm being held captive here at Kadlec Hospital. Can't be released until my kidneys start behaving - discard their infection and lose some inches!

I figured I had some kind of urinary tract thing going again Monday. Drank water by the gallons. Didn't do the trick. Tues. morning at 4am I woke and was in awful pain in my right side. I got in to Kania Clinic as soon as they opened. By then I was throwing up and my "sample" was dark brown. The doctor told me to go to the emergency room. I chose Kadlec and he called them and sent paperwork with me. When I got here at Kadlec, I was treated like royalty! I figured it was because the clinic had called ahead. Nope. Each of us was given his own wheelchair as soon as we arrived and after visiting a triage nurse, I was shown a room and was seeing a doctor - all within 45 minutes! I am still in amazement! This is NOT the treatment we've seen elsewhere!

They gave me medication for the kidney infection and did a CT scan, since they were wondering if the pain was from gall stones, kidney stones or appendicitis. It showed that my kidney was enlarged and infected. I guess the doctor took one look at this bald diabetic with a kidney infection and decided to keep me as an unusual specimen or something, cuz it's Wednesday - after 2pm and I'm still here. Haven't seen the hospitalist since last night when I was admitted.

One of the nurses here said that I may be here a few days. Sigh. This was NOT in my plans. I was supposed to teach the lesson at the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meeting yesterday afternoon. And take Taija to her new job. And get ready for chemo #7 that was supposed to be today.

Actually, I have to confess. I just wasn't getting enough attention. I had to do something drastic to keep the focus on ME and this was it - coming down with a grand kidney infection. They're giving me IV's and being generous with the Ciprofloxacin. And feeding me well. And I'm sleeping a lot. And feeling special! And my family is being taken care of extra well by grandparents (brought pizza last night!) and our dear Relief Society President!

A few numbers:
*21 - the number of times I was poked, prodded or wakened from being admitted at 4:30pm until 5am this morning. Even more since then. They really like my blood; they must have some caged vampires they're feeding.
*Two - number of chest x-rays they gave me - at 8pm last night (I thought my kidneys were on my right side - with all the pain???)
*Once/day - the number of pain medication doses I am allotted (they called the doctor and made some adjustments)
*Twice - the number of times Heather has visited me today. She came back with my laptop and toothbrush and insulin pump supplies. She's been very caring and helpful - what a sweetie!
*40 minutes - amount of time between bathroom visits (with the IV going, I keep running!) I figured out how to unplug the IV and get around and back and replug it rather than waiting for the nurse assistant to keep helping!
*3 - number of hospitalists - doctors - to see all us patients in the hospital today. Nurse said I should get a visit by 5pm. (He came at 8pm!)

Hands are doing their thing....

2008-09-04T14:51:00.000-07:00

Right on schedule - my hands are reacting to the Taxotere just as they did last treatment. They're red and itchy and puffy. Next will come the peeling. (P.S. My hands never peeled during this treatment! I guess giving me 10% less medication was the answer to that!!)

I'm not very energetic lately. I spent all day yesterday in bed sleeping. Did some of that today, too. My blood sugar levels are through the roof. I can't quite figure it out since I haven't had the steroids in a week.

I got some of my scrapbooking things organized this morning while Renee was over. That really needed doing in the worst way! I'm torn now between traditional scrapbooking and digital scrapbooking. I love both.

p.s. Have you ever had your tongue "twitch"? I've gotten used to my limbs acting up (RLS, etc.), but my tongue?

Editorial Page:

2008-08-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

So, here's my editorial from Sunday's paper. I stuck with a photo with hair - the same one that's to the right of this blog, in fact. (p.s. Don't be too disappointed that my opinions are so inane. Max said I probably wouldn't have written it if I hadn't been having chemo treatments!)

It's been noted by a few of you in letters to the editor that Kennewick's Fourth Avenue is pretty lumpy. What many fail to realize, however, is that it's SUPPOSED to be that way! Don't you realize that we pay good tax dollars to maintain those speed bumps/dips disguised as pot holes and road patch? It keeps traffic to a minimum, eliminating the need for expensive stop lights. It slows down traffic which keeps the neighborhood children and pets safer. So please stop whining - travel Tenth Avenue or Clearwater if you need to cross town. Leave Fourth Avenue to bicyclists wanting a true off-road experience. Or to those pregnant women wishing to induce labor. And to me so that I can cross town without stopping at dozens of red lights!